Should I Pursue Her ?

Question

I attend the university of michigan and their is this girl that I like. I talked to her and asked her for her number. That was a few days ago, since we have been talking on the phone texting and meeting up at school to talk. I like her but the only problem is she told me she has a boyfriend and I don't know if I want to ruin their relationship by trying to pursue her. But if I don't I would not want to be her friend because everyday I would just be reminded of how I can't have this beautiful amazing girl. What should I do?

norcekri · Accepted Answer

Enlist her as an ally in this thing.  Tell her that you're ga-ga over her, and ask her help in figuring out what to do about it, since she's the other side of the equation.  She'll appreciate that you're up front with her, and willing to deal with this in a mature fashion.

By the way, I've been in your spot three or four times.  After the first, I just said to heck with it, got to be her best friend, and let myself fall in love.  Yes, it hurt when she still walked off with her boyfriend's engagement ring, but I matured a lot, and I got to know an amazing lady quite well.  I did this all but the first time, and it just got better every time ... especially the time I found out (a little late) that I'd made a cruddy choice.  Eventually, I knew what I was looking for in a woman and how to spot it.  When I finally found it, I was confident enough in my own recovery abilities that falling in love was easy and nearly painless.  I couldn't have done it without the earlier practice (and pain), and we're still together, two kids and two grandkids later.

Oh -- and I'm still /again on good terms with my exes, thanks to social networking sites.  Those earlier memories are worth a lot, too.

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Should I Pursue Her ?

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