Horrible host treated me like a maid service?

Question

I just have to rant somewhere and ask for help putting this into words for my friend. Also, any insight on what is wrong here?

Before you jump to conclusions, I've always tried to be a good houseguest by cleaning after myself and offering to help out. Also, my and my friend are in our 20s.
A friend of mine asked me a week ago to come have dinner with her mother and spend the night. We both lack adequate transportation, so staying over is a solution to which many in our circle have resorted. The plan was to have dinner, watch a movie, do an errand in the morning, and then she and mother would be visiting her sister's and her mother would drop me off by my house, which is a mile from there. 
So after getting there by bus, we talked for a bit, and then her mother asked for a bit of help cleaning out the garage. I thought she just wanted help getting something heavy, but she had us digging through various dusty boxes for at least an hour.  Nevermind I was in my favorite outfit and dress shoes for the dinner, I thought she really needed to find something. Turned out it was just some Christmas stuff! Also, they threw me some blankets out of the storage boxes to sleep with. 
Then we a tiny meal for the three of us of two stuffed portabello mushrooms, a small bit of green beans, and some sliced tomatoes. I was hungry after, but there was nothing left!
OK, normal houseguest stuff I did I'm not complaining about: I prepared the tomatoes, set the table, and washed the dishes afterwards.
By this time, it was about 8:00. My friend takes some medicine at 6:00 that completely knocks her out at 10:00. We were barely able to watch a movie, and she doesn't remember some parts of it. The longer her mother delayed us, the less time we had. Her mother also interrupted us several times. 

I changed the sheets on the collapsible bed/couch, and spent an uncomfortable night because it refused to lie down flat. I had to sleep on a diagonal to keep from rolling out of bed. Still I got up, got ready, had an again too small meal of two pieces of microwaved french toast. I folded my blanket (again, something I normally do). As I was waiting for my friend to be ready, her mom asked me to grab something, and after I got up placed piles of papers and magazines all over where I had been sitting. I had to move one of the piles to have room to sit down again! Finally we left and went out for the shopping errand. I got faint while we were out due to low blood sugar and couldn't focus on anything.

We got back several hours later at 2:00, and then my friend mentions how her mother was hassling her to clean, so I got assigned to clean the kitchen floor while she vacuumed the living room. Her mom wasn't home yet. I sighed and cleaned the floor and then settled down with a hand held game while she finished vacuuming. Then her mother came home, and started again on the garage. They both fully expected me to help out, but I was just done at that point. I just stared at them and couldn't move. It was 4:00, the time I had hoped to be home, and back out in time for 5:00 vigil mass at church, it being Halloween this Sunday. I was just done with it all, my brain wouldn't work.

So I walked out, telling my friend it all just seemed ridiculous and they should have politely asked me if I could help them clean the garage instead of inviting me to come over for dinner. Her answer was, "Oh she does this all the time."  She promised to talk to her mom about it and walked me to the bus. 

Should I be so angry at my friend for how she let her mother treat me? How she treated me? Did I do anything? I don't want to stop being friends, but in the future I'm not going to spend any more time than necessary at her house.  

Also, I don't want to sound spoiled, but I wish I could explain that you are supposed to treat a guest like an actual guest, not an extra set of hands.

Jake No Chat · Accepted Answer

That was a horrible way to be treated, and I think you are right to feel offended and put out.  Some people are just like that - they use people.  Try to not let it come between you and your friend.  Just be warned that people like that are very predictable and it may happen again.  You can be a better person by learning from the experience and putting the emotions aside.  I can give such advice, but I have fallen for such rude host tactics several times before.

Mr Warrior · Answer

You need to get one thing clear............

A guest is someone that frequents a hotel. Where hotel staff do the cooking and cleaning for them.

A visitor is someone that visits someones family home for a short period. It does not mean the home owner becomes their slave and tip toes around them meeting their every demand. Its their home.

Your complaints are quite petty.
The fact your friend KNEW they had to take medicine that would nearly knock them out. Shows its not the mothers fault.
Furthermore, your were fed, given a meal, a place to sleep and a movie to watch. The fact your friend was dazed out on medicine did not prevent you from watching the movie. Unless you took her medication as well, which is very very bad.

So the mother asked you to get a few boxes from the garage. Thats the least you can do , since she is feeding you and giving you a place to sleep.

A guest goes to a hotel.
You are a friend of one of the children , whose parents own the home. 

Even if you were considered a guest by societies standards in that home. It does not make her mother a slave to you to meet your every demand. Nor should you say NO to the mother if asked to do something. After all, she is feeding you and giving you a place to sleep.

Respect is a two way street. The nerve to complain shows you give the percpetion of being spoilt.

Just out of respect, if one of my friend parants asked me to do something for them. I would not have a problem at all , doing what they ask, without complaint.

suedowg22 · Answer

Your friend is not to blame.  Her mother surely bullies her around all the time.  You are lucky that you get to leave that manipulating controlling environment.  Your poor friend is stuck there and powerless until and if she is able to break away and be on her own.  Offer your friend understanding and support.  Let her know that you see her mom taking advantage of both of you and that you know its not your friends fault.  
Your friend might need some serious help.

? · Answer

It is really not your friends fault you were treated this way.  YOU ALLOWED her and her parents to treat you this way!  If I were you I would have said "Oh my.  I understood that I was invited over as a guest for dinner, not to do chores for you.  I am afraid I did not dress appropriately for housework.  If you would like, I can come over another time and do your cleaning for you when I am dressed for that kind of thing.  I charge $20.00 an hour for my services."
  Of course if you do sleep over you should be polite and clean up the area that you used during your stay.  (This means tidy up in a way that restores the area to the way it was before you stayed there.)

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Horrible host treated me like a maid service?

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