How to handle a rude 8 year old girl?

Question

I babysit a 3 year old and 8 year old, three days a week, and for the last few weeks the 8 year old has been particularly awful. She has always been rude and bossy, ordering me to clean, make food, or play "school" with her, which I always asked her to ask nicely and she says sorry and rephrases her sentences. Lately however she has been not listening when I tell her to do something: come inside, clean up, go to bed. Going to bed is the worse time, she stares me down when it is time and tells me no. Yesterday she even said she was about to slap me if I made her go to sleep! She makes her younger brother do what she does, even though he didn't care a second before. Her mother told me that I could take away her computer time or time with her friends, but I doubt it will work. I would just ask not to babysit anymore, but I want to wait until the semester is over because her mom is a teacher and I don't want to just leave her high and dry. Is there any secret ways to make her behave?

Update:

I think, since I am 22 she thinks of me as a friend so when I act like a babysitter she rebels.

Update 2:

I babysit Monday, Tuesday, and Friday. Sometimes Wednesday too.

? · Accepted Answer

Do you baby sit everyday?

When you get there, call her over to a quiet corner of the house.  Sit her down, look her in the eyes and tell her that you don't like how she behaves at bed time.  Tell her she has the choice of going to bed when she's told or she will have consequences.  

Tell her that for every minute she fights with you, she goes to bed 5 minutes earlier the next day.  Make her understand.  Give her examples.  Say, "If you fight with me for 5 minutes, you go to bed 25 minutes early.  You fight with me for 10 minutes, you go to bed 50 minutes early.  That's almost an hour.  Do you want to go to bed an hour early?

Tell her that threatening ANYONE with hitting is wrong.  Tell her that she will quit that immediately or she will go to bed 10 minutes early for every threat.

Tell her that from now on she'll be polite and kind, or she won't be doing anything fun, and she'll be going to bed right after dinner.

EDIT TO ADD:
If she doesn't take you seriously, talk to her mom, then both you and the mom talk to her again.  Repeat everything and have the mom back you up.

When she's rude - laugh in her face.  Say that no one talks to you that way and she's not going to like what happens if she continues.  Don't be specific.  Let her little imagination run wild.

PRAISE HER FOR COOPERATION, KINDNESS AND BEING POLITE.
Almost forgot that part.  Always praise the behavior you want.  

Another tip:
Warn her when it's time for bed.  Say, "In 10 minutes, we cleaning up and you will be going to bed".  Reminding her will give her feelings of control over the situation.

? · Answer

You have to be strict with her.  When she is bossy and rude, don't do what she is asking regardless of how she rephrases it.  Let her know that you aren't going to do things with her if she acts like that, and make sure to explain it to her.  She'll learn that she can't get what she wants if she acts like that.  

As for the whole going to sleep thing, it is tough no matter what kid or what age it seems like.  For some reason, they never want to go to bed.  If it is getting really bad and she either misses her bed time or stays up too late, then you should just tell her that you are going to tell her mom about it.  It sounds silly, but you have to let them know that their behavior isn't okay.

Being strict isn't mean as long as you explain why you are doing it, and the importance of what you are asking them to do.  And they'll learn to respect you more.

Anonymous · Answer

No do NOT bribe her, that is one of the worst ways to get a child to behave.  It works for a short period but it will backfire as she will expect to be "paid" every time she behaves.

Tell her mom straight up that if the child does not learn to behave, then you will not be able to babysit anymore.  Mom will know she can't afford to be without a sitter and will either tighten the reigns or have to find another sitter.

I like brownie's suggestion but make sure you have consent before taking it to that level.

? · Answer

Talk to her mom, maybe something is going on right now to make her act out. Maybe she is having trouble at school, or her parents are fighting, or even something minor. Usually changes in kids behavior  are caused by some sort of underlying concern. 

In this situation I would rely on Super Nanny. I love this TV show, she works wonders and has amazing advice. Here are her tips on how to get kids to listen: http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/Routine-and-Teamwork/How-to-Get-Your-Child-to-Listen.aspx

Here is another good article from a mom blog about teaching manors to kids: http://myvoice.mygofer.com/mission_possible/Three-Ways-to-Teach-Your-Kids-Consistency-and-Good-Manners

suedowg22 · Answer

If she behaves, let her have fun... if not, sit her on the stairs... she can stay there until she does as she is told.  You are not her friend. you are the babysitter.
The girls mother needs to take this bad behavior seriously and she needs to take care of it with her daughter.

Prissy Bajungas · Answer

Talk to her mother about using 1,2,3 magic with her. If mom is in agreement and willing to allow you to use it also, put the little monster in time out when she misbehaves.

Anonymous · Answer

Bribing. Also, trying to lead slowly up to bedtime by decreasing the tempo of things. Ex: Play, eat, watch TV, sleep.

Anonymous · Answer

With a paddle.

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How to handle a rude 8 year old girl?

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