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Troubled with sexuality?
I haven't been able to feel safe enough to ask any person that I know in the flesh this, so here I am looking for support in the anonymous cyber world...
I'm 25 - I've been in a monogamous heterosexual relationship for over 6 years now, and we have two beautiful children together. I stayed at home with my kids and lived a pretty isolated life until I went back to school this September and NOW...
I'm finding myself with a crush on one of my female classmates. Its really messing with me! I wouldn't act on it but the fact that I'm feeling this way, when I'm in a relationship (not to mention the implications it brings in because she's not a man...) is really messing wiht my head. I plan to sit back and see if it goes away...but realistically, I wanted to ask the lesbians out there - - how often do straight girls get crushes on you/experiment with you/etc and go back to being straight? I just dont understand the blurred lines here....I've always thought about women "like that" a bit, but never had the opportunity before I got into a relatinoship to experiment...
Detail: my partner would most definitely NOT be okay with experimenting. We have a complete family together already and although we both have gay friends, cheating is cheating.
Beyond that.... I know for sure that the girl I have a crush on is a lesbian. I guess part of me is worried that that's the only reason I have a crush on her?
3 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
It is normal to experiment and to be curious. The real question is if you want to explore this side of you bad enough to lose what you have. Can you live the rest of your life without emptiness and regret over if this was really you? Are you happy now? I love men and women. I would have been miserable if I hadn't gotten to explore this side of me. You need to figure out if this is something you must do or not. Don't wake up 10 years from now and live in regret. Your husband should want you first and foremost to be happy. I am not saying cheat, but be happy. If you stay with him just to keep him happy, then you will both end up miserable in the end. This is what soul searching is. Talk openly and honestly with your husband about what is going on. He should be supportive of you and your needs as you are of his. You unhappy will not serve you, him or your children any good.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
It's actually pretty normal. I used to have a crush on one of my best friends (who was a girl), but I got over it fairly quickly and it's never happened again since then. (Ironically, she had a crush on me too, yet we never knew...) Anyway, it's your right to experiment and see (as long as both parties are willing) but it would be unfair not to tell your husband your intentions. If he's like most guys, he'll probably be pretty happy about it. If he's a raging bible-thumper, maybe not. Still, he has to know if your in a relationship. Of course, you have to find out if the girl wants to or not.
Sorry, this is a little muddled, and this response is from a straight girl with gay friends, but I hope it helps anyway!
- 1 decade ago
This is the point when you find out you're a lesbian, if men are still attracted to you and you're also attract to women, then you are bisexual
Don't worry this happens all the time.