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What are your thoughts? Need Advice.?
I am in a pretty sticky situation and could use some advice on what you would do in my situation, Im curious to know if I might still have a chance with her.
We have been friends for a long time was my sisters best friend from high school. She has had a pretty good rough patch with relationships been married and divorced twice. A couple months ago we started talking again, we didn't really talk through the marriages kind of lost touch. We lived in different states but I was back visiting family for a few days. I asked her out, we had fun and were inseparable the whole time I was there. I had to get back to work in the state I was staying so she agreed to come visit for a couple weeks. We had a blast had a very good time together showed her the sites etc. When the 2 weeks were up we kept our agreement and I took her back to the state she was staying.
Continued to talk on Facebook and 3 days later we missed each other so much that she decided she wanted to move in with me, so I went and picked her back up. Started off great continued to have fun and then we found out she was pregnant. I was thrilled couldn't have been happier swore right then and there that I was going to be there for her and the child no matter what. We had talked about our future together and the excitement of it all. She made it clear she never wanted to get married again and I was completely fine with that, I just want to be a part of the childs life no matter what.
Then everything changed, I got laid off (seasonal work what can you do) I started stressing bad not working, baby on the way, wtf am i going to do type stress. We were around each other 24/7 after I got laid off. We were fighting over silly stuff never got abusive raised our voices etc just upset at each other. Give me my space, I'll give you yours and we'll make up the next day type arguments. I always tried talking to her after our arguments trying to make up sooner but she would just clam up and not say a word to me. Time would pass and it seemed to me like we got over it after we both calmed down a bit.
Well she wanted to go back home the other day.I begged her to stay, told her we could work through this petty BS. Her mind was set. I started having a nervous breakdown about this point she was getting ready to leave this state with my unborn baby.But I promised her when she wanted to move back home that I would take her. We had planned to move back there together later this month after the financial stuff was taking care of, but we didn't get to that point. I wasn't going to keep her some place she didn't want to be and she wanted to go right then and there. 6 hour drive never said a word to me.
It's been a few days now were still split up but slowly starting to talk again. I had sent her a message telling her my plans of moving back up there to be near my family especially going through something like this. I needed them, but wanted to make sure she didn't mind. She replied "I don't know why you would think I would want you to stay away,I think it's really good you want to move back closer to your family...and possibly this child" Then continued on saying "I don't think you're a bad person at all, You are a good guy, just not what I want and I am truly sorry for that."
Im so confused. Did she get scared? Pregnancy hormones? Missed her family? She has told me that she'll never have an abortion or keep me away from the baby. But I want so much more, I care for her a great deal and want to experience everything with her and the baby. I have no desire to be a weekend dad, I want this baby to be born into this world with 2 loving parents and not a couple people that just gave up when sh*t got tough. I want this child to have every opportunity, when it has to brave this world to become a much a much better person than I turned out to be and clear any obstacles I can to make it easier and that includes not being raised in a broken home. Do I still have a shot to make this dream a reality?
It's breaking my heart and slowly killing me in the process, can't eat, can't sleep, Im a mess. We have an estimated due date of July 8th. 2011. She is only a couple months along. I appreciate any help you might be able to give me.
3 Answers
- 1 decade ago
I think that you should give her some space. After a while you two should sit down and talk. Tell her how you feel, tell her that you want to be there for this child, and be sure not to rush into anything. And if she feels the same way then you got someone and if she doesn't tell you her that you will always be there the baby and for her when ever she needs you.
- 1 decade ago
well its sounds to me like she is starting to get over you...now its just me im only 17 but i would analyze her for a while she what it is she likes in a man, then maybe try to be that man, oooorrrrr you your self could only care about your on-the-way baby, as for the eat/sleep part your laid off got alot of time, take up a hobby such as building models or getting a game system and play online games such as call of duty, or spend time with friends in the mean time then when the baby hits home be the best dad you can be
- 1 decade ago
Its just her being pregnant ! Just be there for her & when ur baby is born and she will see.