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Who wants to read my zombie poem! :D?

What do you think of my zombie poem?

In English, we had to re-write "Twas the Night Before Christmas...

Here's my 'Twas the Night Before Zombies!

‘Twas the Night Before Zombies

‘Twas the night before zombies, when all through the town,

Everybody constantly had that terrified frown

The doors were dead bolted, nice and tight

So those flesh eating zombies couldn’t come in through the night

The children were locked carefully in their rooms

Because the zombies come out every full moon

My and my family huddled up with fright,

As we silently prepared for a long, restless night

Out on the street there was a big crash

And all the sudden, on the window, there was a bloody splash

I flew to the closet and grabbed my sharp axe

Trying my hardest to be calm and relaxed

I looked outside, blood stained the new fallen snow

As the moon gave the vicious creatures a menacing glow

Then, I saw through the tears in my eyes

The window being smashed by those bloody, gory guys

I could feel my breath shortening, my heart beating fast,

If I didn’t fight back, I knew I wouldn’t last

My heart became engulfed in flames.

As I could hear their Master calling out their horrid names;

Now Tank, now Crawler, now Decay, now Putrid

Now Demon, now Hulk, now Creeper, now Rancid

Into that window, down the hall,

Now slay, slay, slay them all!

I drew the axe back, kept it steady

As I let them know I was armed and ready

The zombies slowly staggered towards me,

As all my heart and soul were telling me to flee

One by one, I chopped them up, and let me tell you it was a great feeling,

Seeing their limbs being stacked up to the ceiling.

The line of zombies was never-ending

Forever and ever, it was always extending

He was dressed in all black, with a hood over his face

He was taller than the rest; wielding a sharp mace

And then I realized, it must be their Master

As he staggered towards me, even faster

His eyes were black as death, his skin white as snow

The moonlight made his mace shimmer and glow

Cuts and scrapes, still bloody and oozing,

Covered his body, along with some bruising

The vicious creature drew back his mace

As I tried my hardest to keep a straight face

One clean sweep of my axe,

And I cut straight through his back

I let out a long, relieved sigh

And looked out the window to see the sunrise sky

As he lay there, he said to me, bloody and dying,

“Fight your hardest, or die trying.”

Opinions? :DD

10 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It's alright...some of the lines have too few/too many syllables, but it's not bad other than that.

  • ?
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I like it :) Its like Dr Seuss meets Edgar Allan Poe.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I love it but rancid doesn't rhyme with putrid. Sorry everybody's a critic.

  • I really like it, great job! 5/5 =D

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  • 1 decade ago

    Its amazing. You should publish it or send it to a writing competition.

  • 1 decade ago

    10/10, nice

  • 1 decade ago

    I read the last and first sentence. If thats what you call reading LOL. But imma stupid blonde and i liek it :)

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It's a lovely poem..

  • 1 decade ago

    gud

  • ?
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    you have a very gory mind.

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