How do I stop making innuendo's?

I can't stop making innuendo's, sometimes they are big ones, sometimes my delivery is a bit stiff. I have a hard time dealing with this, even if I stand fully erect I cannot stop it. Following advice received, I had a play with a big pear, but all that happened was I got juice on my fingers. Someone advised me to give money away to a random woman in the street, so I gave her one. She didn't come, she just walked away. I gave her one from behind, but she just threw it back at me.