21 year old virgin with no friends here. Am I a Loser?

boy you sure are missing out. just sit somewhere alone and think about what you are doing wrong. go out and explore the malls,library,movies,even the gym. and before long you may find friends. but you need to get out of that shell first. i use to be shy but i overcame that. you are in a dark cloud right now but,there is lite at the other side. and more than sure it is cause by shyness. get rid of it now and, don't look back.

Your not a loser and you are not destined to be alone! You seem to just over think things a little too much, and are a little on the sensitive side. Being a virgin at 21 is not that uncommon. I know like five guys that are waiting until like marriage and their ages range from 17 to 26 years old. 21 years old is YOUNG...it cracks me up when i read other peoples questions and they all think that their time is up, or that they will never meet the "one"....trust me that's not the case.

Girls like "bad boys" because they like the passion of it. The hot raunchy sex, slight obsession and passionate affection...yadda..yadda..yadda. It's not real. That's why "bad boy" relationships never work out. Not all girls are like this though. I personally have never dated a "bad boy". I was always a loner in highschool and I didn't even start dating until I was 18 years old. I was sorta the "good girl" in town, and had a bunch of loser boys trying to get into my pants, until I met my love. He was super shy, a commplete sweet heart and just as inexperienced as I was, and we are crazy about each other!

Believe me it will all work out!! More than likely, you just happen to be stuck around a bunch of crazy immature college students that think they can live on love alone. Find a decent guy to go hang out with and put yourself out there(for the girls). You might have to wait it out a little longer, but you will find a good girl that doesn't care how many friends you have, or how far you have ever gone with a girl. It's irrelavent....good luck!

No what does it matter if your a virgin. On the girls thing you might want to put your self out there. If your the type in the back of room hideing you might not get noticed as the kid in the front but dont be a show off that is a turn off. If you like a girl reach out.Find people you have stuff in commen with there is where you will find friends and a girl friend. GOOD LUCK :)

Destined, schmestined. "Things" aren't going to change, you have to change the things you're doing.

Not all girls like 'bad boys' and those who do usually wind up miserable because they got stuck with a bad man. I don't understand that myself--and I think a lot of girls learn what they know about relationships from soap operas, and have to think there has to be a crisis at least every other day. That's just silly.

I was VERY shy in school, and learned later that most of the other kids thought I was stuck up and thought I was better than them. I was smarter than some of them (but, obviously, not as smart as others) and had no interest in sports or jocks. The impression you gave might've been similar--kids who get good grades make other kids feel inferior and often resentful. If you're in law school now, you probably spend most of your time and energy on your studies. (If more kids did that, there'd be fewer of these "OMG AM I PREGNANT?" questions... having a busy social life can have a downside).

Odds are there are girls in your classes right now who are in *exactly* the same situation as you. Why don't you start a social group at your school for shy people who are trying to find someone? Or -- I'm serious -- sign up with a match service that uses psychological profiles. A friend of mine found her husband that way--she's a medical professional and had very little time to socialize in school, and then even less when she set up her practice. She did the e-harmony thing and met a few nice guys and one that really clicked.

That sounds sort of impersonal, but the good thing about it is, you know that the girls you meet through something like that are probably not spending their $ just for laughs--they really want to meet someone. And it's low-risk--you only meet the girls who sound interesting, and they only answer if you sound interesting.

If you go in expecting that you'll find someone awful who will take advantage of you ... well, people often do find what they expect. But there are still plenty of young women who want a man who's dependable and trustworthy. They may not be the barbie-doll types, but that's where you need to think about the old 'beauty is only skin-deep' thing. Most good women are not fashion models--and neither are most men.

Work on talking about what interests you, though. You're no good at that. There's not one single word in your post about what you LIKE, what you do for fun, or even if you know how to have fun at all! You've got to make yourself sound interesting, because if all you do is study and work... well, intelligence and ambition are fine, but they don't mean you can sustain a relationship and a guy sitting at the office working on his legal briefs isn't going to have much energy left by the time he gets home. It might not hurt to spend a few sessions with a relationship counselor, either--to find out if there are ways you're sabotaging your chances when it comes to meeting women.

Good luck!

oh my gosh, don't even worry!! I am eighteen and I just had my first kiss about a month ago. You will probably find that being unexperienced is a lot more common than you think. I know tons of people my age and older who aren't very experienced.

Personally I like a guy who is a little inexperienced. It shows that he has morals and isnt just your average jerk. I personally decided that I am not going to have sex until I am married, and I want a boy who feels the same. I just feel like that is something so special I will be able to give my husband. Telling him he is the only person I ever want to do that i think will make it so much more intimate and meaningful. Even though most people don't think this in this age and day, there are a bunch of people who think the same. After all, I am pretty conservative but not too crazy.

I've talked to a bunch of my friends about the "bad boy" vs "good guy" thing. It turns out, girls dont really want bad boys. My sister, who is really intense (1 tattoo, 8 piercings, very tough) always says she wants a boy who looks tough, but is sweet on the inside. If she, one of the most tough people i know wants a good guy, i think it is safe to say a lot of girls do. Most of my friends are in love with the "cute nerds" in my school. Not like they are really nerds, we just like the cute, understated smart guys. After all, what's not to love? Sometimes girls want a tough guy because tough guys seem so manly and powerful. Its what i like to call the vegetarian lumberjack syndrome. we like a tough,manly outdoorsy guy in plaid who could kill a moose, but would never hurt a fly!! Sometimes girls like tough guys on the outside, but on the inside, we like nothing more than a gentleman.

nothing is wrong with you. just try to make a move on some girls. If they say no, it usually isn't actually you, it is them. You don't know why the girl is saying no. maybe she just had a bad breakup, maybe she has a boyfriend, maybe she is having family problems, maybe she is just as shy as you, or maybe you just arent her type. Feel confident that even if a girl says no, it is probably not you. and, at least you had some practice asking a girl out. its lame, but you can grow with your mistakes. :D

get off your shell I was like you, But life gave me an answer. I said I can keep standing here alone with this shell so I made a Huge step I joined a social club and start conversation's don't be shy people talk to people It's nothing wrong if you make friends who don't know Just be funny, Be The guy who's always be there for them and most importantly BE YOU!!!

Nay your not a loser. I've always liked shy guys more. As you said more of a challenge. You just have to wait. Try talking more. I used to be really shy then I started to talk more and I have a lot more friends now.

Mate if you have a dream, chase it, don't let anything stop you. If you're dream is to be a lawyer or whatever you're going to law school for then the chicks will come in time, perhalps when you have completed your dream, but that is when you will get more attention, this means you will become less shy and be able to get more chicks.

Hey man, don't be so hard on yourself. I was a 21 year old virgin, and then I started going to EVERY church group meeting I could find in my local area. Go to them, go to ALL of them. That is where the nice girls will be at! You seem to have self-esteem issues, you should probably hit on girls with self-esteem issues too, because that is automatically something you have in common with them!

Don't worry you're not a loser. But, you should enjoy life in a safe way. Like go to night clubs with friends, chill with the family. You know but, they'll all envy you when you become rich.