He just doesn't care, right?

Question

Not really sure if I’m overreacting at the moment or not. Basically the story is this. My mother is sick with cancer, she went in for her operation Tuesday and they operated yesterday. Yesterday was pretty much a waiting game. Waiting on the hospital to call to say how the operation had gone. I was in work and had my close friends text or call me to let me know they were thinking of me. My boyfriend, who I have been with for almost 2 years, rang me once at lunchtime and asked me how she was but had no comforting words to say and pretty much tried to change the subject and make me laugh. Now maybe it’s just me but at this time the last thing I want to do is laugh. 

He was the same Wednesday night when I called into him. He tried to make a big joke of everything when really all I wanted was for him to give me a hug. Last night he called up. He has a child from a previous relationship who he takes care of full time. He had gotten a letter from his ex girlfriend wanting joint custody of their child and he was FUMING! I spent an hour with him talking, trying to make him feel better about the whole thing. So after our talk he asked me did I want to go for a drive. My father rang me from the hospital saying my mother’s operation went well and she was still out………..just the thought of her in the hospital with tubes hanging out of her made me upset and I was crying for a little bit. My boyfriend couldn’t even bring himself to put his arm around me! all he was saying was not to worry she’ll be fine. he makes me feel like I’m overreacting over these things and it makes me feel so alone because I stick through him with everything! 

I’m starting to think he just doesn’t care! What do you guys think?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Maybe he not good at showing emotion as some blokes are, however you need to ask and tell him what it is you need. It a hard time and you need support and your no way over reacting. I just hope you have good friends to meet your emotional needs at this time. do not make any big decision at such a difficult time

? · Answer

In his world is where his head seems to be. I have been the clueless BF and sometimes it can just be because I don't know how to handle the gravity of other peoples serious situations properly. other times It could be that im distracted with worries of other issues in my life. I'm thinking It could be a combination of the both for your bf. with his custody issue which is touchy and his Girlfriend dealing with some medical issues in the family.... which is serious.

sometimes caring isn't always conveyed the best ways.. I think(without knowing the dude) that he must care if you've been together for a few years... because i know how long relationships can be=(

best to explain it all and tell him that you seek comfort and companionship when the drama settles a bit over the next few days.

and hey... that is some scary stuff. I dont know you or your mom, but I offer all of my condolences and hope that She, You, and ur family pull through this strongly=).  My mom had a scare and her Mom as well, and there is a lot of hope and help. let the docs do their job and show all the support and strength you can to ur mom. That's the best you can do for her =)

Anonymous · Answer

Honey, if your instinct says he doesnt care, then he surely doesnt care. Believe me, I went through a year with a guy who didnt care but i just made excuses for him not caring... but there is just no excuse.  If he loves you, or even genuinely likes you, he's be there for you to make you feel the way you want to feel.  He is caught up in his own life and thinks his problems are greater than yours.

He just doesn't care, right?

3 Answers