I need relationship advice can you help?

There are times that my husband or I are overwhelmed because we have a lot going on and are going in opposite directions. A natural by-product of that is that we can get a bit short with each other. When my husband is overwhelmed, he'll turn into Monk and become obsessive compulsive about the inane....like a microscopic speck of dust on a second hand truck.

What we found works well for us in those situations if we just stop what we're doing and give each other a bear hug. Yeah, it sounds like stupid advice to "hug it out." But for whatever reason, by reconnecting physically through the simple act of hugging helps ground us and reconnect with each other. Suddenly all of that other stuff goes away and you both realize that you are a team...together.

When my husband gets this way, I don't argue with him. I hug him....even if hugging him at that moment is the last thing I want to be doing. It really works. Even if he is too tired, busy and stressed for sex, he has enough time for a 30 second hug.

Don't worry about the sex. You'll have that soon enough. Right now, work on the emotional intimacy.

So it's a busy time. It's been crazy for us here too. But we are still loving and affectionate even though we've been either sick or exhausted so no sex for about 5 days.

But at least for us, it's just temporary. It will come around very soon.

For you, I recommend NO words--men don't like or get subtlety and don't appreciate pissy attitudes. Yeah, neither do we girls...but often we women are the ones who have to make that first step. So show him what you want, go the extra mile, give him a bj, flirt, tease him, get naked and lay spread-eagled on the bed, that sort of thing. Kiss him, squeeze him, clean his truck, do some nice things for him and to him. Don't expect anything in return, do it because you love him. Yes, it would be nice if he'd do these things for you. But in marriage, you can't hold back and pout because you want the other person to act a certain way, you just have to bite your lip and jump in and do it yourself. It pays off in huge dividends.

Best wishes and Merry Christmas!

It may just be the stress causing him to be this way. You may have to wait for the intimacy until the rush is over and the stress gone but then if he is still more concerned about the truck more than you, you may have to think about finding someone else. I will give you a site dealing with relationships and self esteem that may help you deal with this.

Times are hard right now, and I understand your frustrations. Stress makes intimacy a challenge, but you cannot just abandon intimacy. Everyone is telling you to give him a bj and have sex, but it seems like this is not what you want. Tell me if I am wrong, but it sounds like you want your partner to listen to you. If you want only physical intimacy, then go for the ********. If you want a deeper connection during imtimacy then you must cimmunicate verbally. You can say, "I understand it is difficult to communicate right now, but it is important to me that you understand my feelings. I would also like for you to tell me about your frustrations recently." I think you'll both find it liberating to talk about what's bothering you. Then when the tensions are released both of you will be more relaxed for intimacy.

ahh, thats fairly tough and it sounds like theres a fair amount of tension in your relationship, its strange that he thinks ur jealous when u tell him ur feelings, maybe u should try a night in, of which u make a romantic meal with candles etc, then u ask him if he wants to go upstairs with ur hand on his leg etc, he should like this cus he's a man, and why would he turn this oppertunity for some action down? so u go upstairs into the bed and u can do the rest, this should hopefully break the tension. good luck :)

Look there is more to life and a relationship than sex. Just think how many other people in the country are in the same boat as you trying to get through this difficult time and keep their businesses going. Its the run up to Christmas and all who work in the retail trade and luxury food industry like myself are just about on our knees but we must keep going and I don't think any of us are bleating about loss of sex life. There is plenty of time in just a couple of weeks when the festive period is over to get it together so stop sounding so childish and just get on with things like the rest of us. I don't hold out much hope for your relationship anyway by the sound of things the both of you need to grow up and support each other instead of narking

What I see here is that you are putting your concerns as being more important than his.

IHM has it right, offer the apology for the truck as sex - then he gets his feelings validated and you get the intimacy you desire.

This too shall pass.

Just remember to be NICE to one and other during stressful times.

I recommend a knee drop and bj to resolve his "intimacy" issues. He's backed up and when that happens, out comes the growling. 2 minute resolution to your issues.

The truck? Pfft!!! Shyt happens. Let that roll off your back, he would if he'd have been driving when it happened. That's life.

You need a slow cooker - make your meals ahead of time so you can eat when you get home. Then plan for a romantic evening.

Everyone is busy and you just have to make time for each other.

whether you see it or not, just agree ans apologize, that's his baby even if it's a hand me down..

then kiss and make up

time with spouse shouldn't have to be made by appointment, you live in the same house, sleep in the same room.. ten mins should be easy to make.. any time is quality time, even if for only a few mins