My boyfriend failed to get me the right gifts for christmas. How can I deal with my anger & frustration?

Sometimes guys don't get the message and they can't read women's minds, so it's up to women to make it easier on them every once in a while. Next time before the holidays or your birthday or anniversary, you should tell him what you like. Write down everything you like or things you want, give him the list, and he'll know what to get next time.

He was only trying to please you and he didn't know what you wanted. Guys are really nervous about getting gifts for their girlfriends, and it's a lot of pressure on them to find the perfect gifts, especially around Christmas. Just give him a break this time and don't tell him you hate the gifts; he'll feel bad. And just use the things he gave you when he's around.

I'm trying not to be rude, but it's a bit difficult. It sounds like your boyfriend got all the right gifts, but got them for the wrong girl. I hope that you're trolling, but the detail you went into has me convinced that you're not.

For all the time you spent complaining about items which you almost universally praised, you never mentioned what the "right" gifts would have been, except for things you would have bought for yourself. That's the whole concept of a gift; it's something that a loved one thought you would like, but would never likely buy for yourself. If he were to buy you something you would have bought, he could have just bought groceries, paid your rent, or sent you a check.

For someone who lives so far away, he is amazingly resourceful, thoughful, and committed to you. A lot of us guys would do well to take a lesson from him. I'm trying not to come down on you too hard, but your response was nothing short of heartless. He's obviously put real thought, time, and effort behind his gifts, and it seems like he knows you very well and has done his best to match his gifts to your interests. He did an admirable job in doing so, and he didn't stop at one interest (ballet), as many men would have. He got you an assortment of thoughtful gifts, some fun, some useful, mostly beautiful.

I suppose I should give a word of advice, as that's what you're really asking for. If you're disappointed this time around, give him some guidance for next time. Do NOT make reference to his recent gifts as being unsatisfactory. That is your fault if it's anyone's. Put some ideas in his head, and make mention of something he might have gotten for you at one time that you would have bought for yourself. Make a minor point that one of the things you liked about it is that you would have bought it.

Your boyfriend really does sound like a great guy, and aside from the lack of utility of the gifts he gave, I really think he did a wonderful job of shopping for you. My apologies if I came off as overly critical. I'm sure you have many wonderful qualities to inspire such thoughtfulness in him; you simply painted yourself in a negative light with your question. Being apart is hard on any couple, and it's understandable that he's not well-versed in what you might buy for yourself from day to day. Give him the guidance and suggestions he needs; you can't ever get too specific. I think that most of us would prefer the mystery and the thought and effort behind the surprises that he sends, though.

I'm trying not to be rude, but it's a bit difficult. It sounds like your boyfriend got all the right gifts, but got them for the wrong girl. I hope that you're trolling, but the detail you went into has me convinced that you're not.

For all the time you spent complaining about items which you almost universally praised, you never mentioned what the "right" gifts would have been, except for things you would have bought for yourself. That's the whole concept of a gift; it's something that a loved one thought you would like, but would never likely buy for yourself. If he were to buy you something you would have bought, he could have just bought groceries, paid your rent, or sent you a check.

For someone who lives so far away, he is amazingly resourceful, thoughful, and committed to you. A lot of us guys would do well to take a lesson from him. I'm trying not to come down on you too hard, but your response was nothing short of heartless. He's obviously put real thought, time, and effort behind his gifts, and it seems like he knows you very well and has done his best to match his gifts to your interests. He did an admirable job in doing so, and he didn't stop at one interest (ballet), as many men would have. He got you an assortment of thoughtful gifts, some fun, some useful, mostly beautiful.

I suppose I should give a word of advice, as that's what you're really asking for. If you're disappointed this time around, give him some guidance for next time. Do NOT make reference to his recent gifts as being unsatisfactory. That is your fault if it's anyone's. Put some ideas in his head, and make mention of something he might have gotten for you at one time that you would have bought for yourself. Make a minor point that one of the things you liked about it is that you would have bought it.

Your boyfriend really does sound like a great guy, and aside from the lack of utility of the gifts he gave, I really think he did a wonderful job of shopping for you. My apologies if I came off as overly critical. I'm sure you have many wonderful qualities to inspire such thoughtfulness in him; you simply painted yourself in a negative light with your question. Being apart is hard on any couple, and it's understandable that he's not well-versed in what you might buy for yourself from day to day. Give him the guidance and suggestions he needs; you can't ever get too specific. I think that most of us would prefer the mystery and the thought and effort behind the surprises that he sends, though.

Usually, I try to be impartial and look at both sides of the story, but this time I can't. I think you should suck it up and say "thank you honey for my lovely gifts" and stop whining. Honestly, I think your boyfriend went through quite a bit of time thinking about what exactly to give you for Christmas and he didn't just give you one thing and call it quits. If anything, he should be upset about the way you're behaving. Ever heard, it's the thought that counts? And next time, rather than play "read my mind" why don't you just simply hint around about what you want or better yet, tell him what it is that you want, so we can all avoid this next time.

Sometimes guys don't get the message and they can't read women's minds, so it's up to women to make it easier on them every once in a while. Next time before the holidays or your birthday or anniversary, you should tell him what you like. Write down everything you like or things you want, give him the list, and he'll know what to get next time.

He was only trying to please you and he didn't know what you wanted. Guys are really nervous about getting gifts for their girlfriends, and it's a lot of pressure on them to find the perfect gifts, especially around Christmas. Just give him a break this time and don't tell him you hate the gifts; he'll feel bad. And just use the things he gave you when he's around.

Wow, i think they sound lovely. You can write him letters with the butterfly notecards. I think disagree, to me it sounds like he had put a lot of thought in the gifts he sent you. I would be appericative. Why would you want a gift you would buy for yourself? The whole point of giving someone a gift is because it would be something they would not nomrally buy because they feel it is not necessary to have it. I think he did a good job and you shouldn't feel upset about it.

WOW! Clearly you are selfish and dont deserve him at all. have you ever heard that awesome little saying "ITS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS" He could have very well just said screw her my girlfriend is a b***** anyways. and not got you anything! be thankful he took all that time to shop for you and get you such beautiful things. all i got for christmas from my boyfriend of 4 years was snowboarding goggles and he took me to dinner.. that is WAY less than what you got and yet i was still so thankful and happy with it. He is a genuinely nice guy your boyfriend and clearly takes the time to notice things you like! just because you will never use those beautiful gifts does not mean they shouldnt be appreciated. its so cruel of you to even be mad at him for what he got you. i mean no offense but what kind of person are you? you sound so shallow and should be ashamed! christmas isnt about what you get its about being with people you love and celebrating. you are acting like its ALL about the gifts. i dont have any sympothy for you. your actions are WRONG and that is all there is to it. grow up! he deserves someone so much better.

omg. Suck it up and deal with it. It sounds like he tried really hard to pick out stuff he thought you would like. Men aren't mind readers. If you want him to get you certain things, just tell him! He would probably be grateful for the direction. You're lucky you got anything from him. I don't know one guy who enjoys trying to pick out the perfect gift for their girlfriend. I'm sorry if I sound critical, but that's the way I see it.

Stop being a little whiny annoying girlfriend and grow up. At least he got you something and tried. Boo hoo, you didn't get exactly what you wanted. That's really immature.

You sound like a total ***** to me. Your boyfriend obviously put a lot of time and energy into these presents. You are quite selfish.

Dump him, put the poor guy out of his misery so he can move on and find somebody decent.