What would be your recommendation?

Question

Information You Need To Know:
Married: 4 years
Condition: Living in separate countries
Me: 0 kids, first marriage, USA
Her: 1 kid, first marriage, Peru

Situation:

I wish I could live with my wife and daughter, but things as they are, we're not together.  I got married to a wonderful woman 4 years ago and soon after came back to the USA.  Paperwork is in process, awaiting interview or decision for her to be here.

I went to visit my wife and daughter a month ago (November).  I found out that she is having a baby in March during my visit.  The father of the baby is the father of her other child, who is 7 years old.

We have discussed the situation and have come to an agreement of sorts.  I will not be discussing the terms of that agreement, as I only wish to know what the general consensus is on this situation.

Abortion is not an option.  Adoption, however, is.  There is also the ability to have the child raised by another family member.  Also, there is the option of divorce.  No harm, no foul.  There are many ways to go with this situation, what would you consider?

Know this: Love and Trust are two different things.  That's what I was reminded of earlier today.

So help me out?  Let me know what you feel is the best option for this situation.

Thank you.  
   -Your Internet Friend.

naturegirl321 · Accepted Answer

SHe cheated on you.  I'd get a divorce.

britt11bad · Answer

I think you should keep the child. Since you have accepted what's happened,why not raise as your own, it might even be born in the USA if the paperwork gets through fast enough. Having another child benefits the other child also, because coming from personal experience being an only child is lonely, even though not all bad. Your wife may also feel like she's given up apart of herself and maybe is only maybe going along with abortion or adoption because she feels guilty about what happened. but forgive and forget and raise the child as your own is my advice. i hope everything works out for the best. Happy New Year.

ShaNayNay · Answer

you didn't mention if whether or not you were going to stay with her.  but it sort of sounds like you have chosen to.  if that's the case, and you can accept what's happened, why not keep the child?

it's not a toy, ya know.

anyway - good luck to ya babes!

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What would be your recommendation?

3 Answers