How do you ask your partner this question without starting an argument?

Sorry, most women still feel the man should pay for the dating. That's one of the benefits of getting married - shared expenses. I think if you ask her this, she'll feel very insulted. It's not so much of starting a fight but of making her feel like she isn't feminine/attractive/worth the expense. Maybe test the waters by saying something like, "I wish we could do more but I just can't afford it right now." If she bites, she bites, but if she doesn't offer, I wouldn't push the subject.

In a very loving way, you let her know that your financial situation has changed and you are no longer able to continue to treat her when the two of you go out. Explain that you would still like to go out on occasion, but if she could step up and pay half, or maybe you pay one time - she pays the next?

If she is uncomfortable with this practice (or, perhaps, very traditional...or even high maintenance!) this may be a deal breaker for her. Be prepared for this. Good luck.

If I were a man and I was always paying for the dates my wife and I went on, I would jokingly say to her that I'd like to be spoiled and taken out every now and again, and be to courted too. I would point out that men also liked to feel appreciated and that they're the center of his wife's world, the same a lot of wives wanted to be viewed by their husband's. And being asked out on a date would be very, very flattering to me.

However, it would NOT have taken me 3yrs to have this conversation. This would have been established from the door because I wouldn't be with a woman who expected me to pay for everything. That is never a good sign, in my book. A man doesn't have to pay for everything just because he's a man, just like a woman doesn't have to stay in the kitchen just because she's a woman. When my husband and I were dating, we went dutch a lot. More than a lot, actually. Because of that, he knows very well that I don't and wouldn't expect him to pay for anything for me all the time, and as a result, the times when he does pay for something for me, it's always more expensive than what I would spend on myself. From an early age, I've always felt it best to be able to take care of myself.

Assuming that you are married, since you have placed this in the Marriage and Divorce section, you should have a joint account and have everything paid for out of that. If you are in some other kind of 3 year relationship and this hasn't come up before now, you have a real communication problem. In that case, move on.

Yea, that would start an argument not because you don't want to pay, but because it will make the other person sound like he/she is mooching off you. Nobody wants to feel like they are taking advantage of their partner, and if you say "can you start paying", your partner will definitely feel as though he/she is burdening you and you don't enjoy taking them out.

This is what you do.

Tell her you cannot go out as much any more because you have to save up money. This is the reality of 90% of American residents because of this b.s economy.

She will understand that.

Just say that with everything going on, you'd rather not spend your money on unnecessary things.

If she offers to take you out, just tell her "honey, I am broke". If she says "its my treat" then there you go.

If you flat out say "can ya start paying for 3hit?"....It will make her feel really bad because sometimes we are under impression that guys like paying for us. We do not like to feel like a burden on anyone either.

In a non threatening matter of speech, you ask the other person that you need to discuss financial issues with them to resolve some issues that you have.

Next time she wants to do something, tell her "Sorry, but I'm tapped out."

If she doesn't take the initiative and offer to pay for it, then it would suggest that she considers it your responsibility to pay for it all, and her right to be treated.

I'm guessing that you are paying for the date and she chips in nothing. God and prayer have nothing to do with this. Tell her point blank you both could have a better time if you pooled your money. Of course, I could be misinterpreting your question. In that case, please clarify.

well no offence but usually women expect the boy to pay for the outings. dont tell her this it will start a fight. if you really want to stop this tell her ytou have no money when you are out and she will have to buy for you

Just talk to them about it, you've been together for 3 years. It isn't rocket surgery!