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AdrianK asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

I'm 22 and i'm stuck in a rut, i don't know what to do with my life. Have you got any advice you could give..?

I'm a 22 year old male and i currently live at home, i don't have a car or licence and i have no degree or higher education except for my BTEC A Level Equivalent. I just don't know what to do with my life or my future career. I seriously want to move out because i feel like i'm cramped up at home, and i don't want to feel like that. My dad just wants me to get a job, but he doesn't understand how hard it is to find one at the moment, and i have been trying!

I also wanted to go to University this September, but now i'm not sure if that'll happen because they have raised the entry requirements' for the course and therefore i may not get accepted. I just don't want to get into a low paying, unskilled, dead end job for the next 5 years, instead i want to be successful and study hard for something i enjoy. What do i do? I'm really confused at the moment and it's stressing me out, and because i'm stressing out i'm feeling anxious & having panic attack's. I didn't do fantastic in my BTEC National Diploma (A Level equivalent) but i got enough grades to enter into a University, but it's just being accepted into a good enough University for what i want to study. Some of my family think i'm just trying to "cop out" by going to University but that's not true at all, in fact i think most people would agree that University is very beneficial in setting up a stable future career for myself, but try telling that to my dad, sister, brother and grandmother. I feel like a failure at the moment and i'm lacking any confidence because i'm so caught up with trying to do well to set up my future. Please, would you be able to offer any helpful advice? Thank You.

15 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Like you, Im 22 and planning on going to university in september. I missed a lot of school due to being ill so had to study from home, my GCSE grades were good, I got into a good sixth form at a school and then I went back to being home educated and by doing so got low AS grades but one good A-Level. Since then I've moved into a new area and started studying at college to be able to bump up my UCAS points if I did apply for uni. Right now Im waiting to see whether I'll be offered a place on a social work course and Im happy to study outside of London, it's just about being hopeful.

    Your family shouldn't be saying it's a cop out etc. they should just believe in you and let you find yur own way. Ignore their comments and prove them wrong. Don't feel like a failure, you have no reason to. You've done well to get the Diploma and you are planing your future, which is great. Even if you don't get a place in a high ranking uni but get a place in another one, it may not be simply down to UCAS points..it could be due to spaces on the course and besides some courses look at your personal statement and your work experience, voluntary etc. and base it on that too, it's not all about UCAS points depending on the uni.

    You've probably applied already?...just wait and see what happens www.whatuni.com is a great website for reading reviews etc. if you haven't yet applied, you're bound to find one that meets your qualifications. Good luck and stay strong, once you've been offered a place you will feel better and your family will see, when you do go that you made the right choice. University can open so many doors.

  • Ann
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    What are your qualifications like? I'd just say follow a path which interests you. Do a course you're interested in and don't worry about being in debt. I'm at university and it's such a great life experience, I've never looked back but you need to decide what you'd study first obviously. Do something which will give you lots of career opportunities and something which will continue to drive and interest you. If you're not sure what you want to do, try to gain some experience in different areas and see what interests you. Surely you must have a gut instinct, dreams, ambitions...? There must be something you could really imagine yourself doing! It's not all about the pay. Yes you need to earn money to make a living but if you want to follow a particular career path which pays a bit less, then go for it. Life's about doing what inspires you. Get out there and consider your options because I'm a year younger than you and living life to the full. It's nice to work and have a focus in life. Don't put it off. Consider it now!

  • 1 decade ago

    First of all, calm down. You have a BTEC, well look at it this way some people don't even get to that and fall into a greater misery than yours. Secondly, you said that you got into or are eligible for a university. And yes, University is very beneficial. If not just that, it is almost like a second wave to you. If you didn't do well in the past, you can always do good in University in any faculty and then if you prove yourself, you can certainly transfer to whatever you like. Your only real problem here is facing the truth. Yes, you have not done well in the past. And for this you will have to face your family, and most importantly yourself. Learn to let go of those fears, Trust me I have been there before. Family's expectations are too high, while the accomplishments are too low. You just need to face them and tell them everything that you are worried about. They are family, not some enemies that are there to mock you.

    I know I cannot place myself in your shoes, and even if I could I would not appreciate the answer above. It is all sounds far fetched, but please try to light a little spark and see where that takes you. Good luck to you brother.

    Happy new year.

    Also, consider what Tim M said (right below me). That might be a good way.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well first of all calm down and don't make me quote a Baz Lurman song..

    I couldn't advise going to university more, so if you don't get in you can probably get in somewhere else or through clearing. University is a fantastic opportunity for your social life and your future career, do not miss it of you have the chance - even if it may be at a university that isn't your first pick.

    Most of the time when giving people advice you occasionally get the most frustrating people who are like "but i don't want to do that" etc etc - best thing to learn now is you won't always get want you want and life doesn't always turn out the way you pictured it. The best people are people who can adapt.

    Speak to career advisor see what other courses you can get on to/what universities you can go to (if of course you don't get your first choice)

    I think your family are probably just concerned about you and want the best for you and yeah they're pissing you off but just because they're are parents doesn't make them better humans, no ones perfect.

    I didn't go to university and when I was 22 I still thought it was a waste of time, but if I could do it all over again now I would have gone. Hearing my friends uni day stories knowing i'll never have those is truely gutting...and it has presented a few difficulties career wise too - now I have to go in the damn evening after work :-(

    Anyway I know you weren't thinking it was a waste of time, I just want to explain how important it is. When you've finished uni you'll have a better idea what you want to do and a degree to sit on to help you on your way. Don't worry too much about what it's in, just something you enjoy and are quite good at. No point doing a smarty pants course if you're shlt at it and going to fail is there ;-)

    Most companies seethe transfreable skills in most degrees...unless you want to be a doctor or summut ;-)

    Good Luck (after uni life will be a little more clear)

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  • 1 decade ago

    Hi. Yeah I am currently 22, and in the depths of despair and I am in a similiar situation to you although I have just finished a four year university course and I am lost as to what to do. My advice is to go get some professional help about the anxiety and panic attacks also this website www.anxietyonline.org.au. I would suggest taking a year off and just working, maybe do some travelling and assess your options and do some research on your uni course, you can also save up to move out if you want. I would do some research on the university courses that interest you during 2011. I would go to open days, ring people up and talk to people at the uni, talk to other people who have been to uni about what it is like. Do some research into what jobs you can do after the degree is over by talking to people at the uni and your friends and family. Also do some research. Act as if you have just finished your chosen course and search for jobs and see if many jobs come up for your area of study and what type of jobs and what courses the jobs are asking for. Also if you do go to uni maybe just do it part time to start off at least. This will give you more time off and you can work more and have a better chance of having enough money to move out on. Best of luck.

    Also I had a lot of anxiety about driving but it really is about giving it a go and practicing. Get your learners or whatever, practice with your friends or someone you know and get some driving lessons. It is just about getting the practice hours up and getting more comfortable behind the wheel. Getting my licence was one of the best things I have ever done and I even consider it a great acheivement and it really changed my life for the better.

  • 1 decade ago

    1: first off if you don't already have one, get a job.

    #2: maybe take night courses at a community college or adult school.

    #3: study the laws of the road, take a behind the wheel course, and when you feel confident behind the wheel, take your drivers test.

    #4: save money and get a car ( a cheap clunker)

    #5: look in to finding any possible scholarships to the university you wish to attend

    #6: talk to a college or career counselor and they can help you map out a plan for your future

    #7: I think for the panic attacks you should see a professional therapist, and or MD.

    #8: try your best and work hard, but don't freak out.... after all how much worse could it get?

    #9: just remember that everything happens for a reason.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I think University is a wonderful idea, the economic environment at the moment is not conducive to getting a decent job and for every job there are often hundreds of applicants, I say you are wise to apply to university while the fees are still comparatively low and to study whilst we are in the middle of this recession. With regards to the increased entry requirements at your university of choice, have you tried speaking to the course leader there and arranging an informal interview? The beauty of higher education is that it is voluntary and often, speaking to people gets you further than filling in forms. I didn't have the right entry requirements for my course (I applied for a BSc without any science GCSEs) but I arranged to speak to a tutor and went for an informal interview and got on the course.

    My advice would be to plug for a stop gap job that you're never gonna love (I've done everything from working in cafes, pubs and bakeries to being a dog walker and a chalet maid) and follow your university dream. Speak to the course leader and take steps to make it happen, once you have a goal to work towards, you will feel your chin lifting- I promise. Also, if you get an in between job, your family will see that you are taking steps to earn a bit of money and that you are working towards where you want to be. Chin up love :)

  • Tim M
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Sorry you feel the way you do but trust that you are not the only one who is in your shoes. Many young individuals are at a cross roads in their lives and simply are uncertain of what exactly they should do. Yes college and University can be expensive and there is almost no guarantee that there is Job awaiting you once you finish. I would anticipate that there would be but some here in America are questioning their future, even with school. I would weigh out your options. Many individuals consider going into the military if they are undecided as to what they want to do. The armed forces is a good way to do your duty for your country, see some of the world, gain experience in some capacity and possibly earn money for education. Either way, I wish you luck.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Do you suffer from panic and anxiety attacks? If so you are not alone, it is said that just over 35% of the population will suffer at some point in their life. I suffered for 10 long years, until I finally found the answers I needed to be able to cure myself. Read here https://tr.im/Sb2tm

    So, yes, anxiety is treatable and no matter how many false dawns you've had so far, you don't have to just live with it

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