Waiting for marriage...?

I think only someone living in a dreamworld cares about "waiting for marriage." Sex whether they like to admit it or not, is a big part of a relationship and marriage. It's not the main part but it is a BIG part. Those practicing abstinence are only setting themselves up for failure with their "traditional morals". They end up discovering they are sexually incompatible, discovering they are married to someone frigid, regretting lacking experience, cheating, becoming addicted to porn and divorcing. This is all connected to countless studies. They rush into loveless marriages because they are desperate to have sex, this is if they actually wait. Many who attempt to wait dont, but are more likely to end up with an unwanted pregnancy or std because of how out of touch with reality they are. What problem is it for me though? I don't care. If you want to wait, then wait. Don't say you were not warned.

My husband and I waited until we were married to have sex. We are both very glad we did! We didn't 'rush to get married because we couldn't wait.' We took our time and got to know each other better, deepening our bond of love and friendship so much that there was NO doubt that we were doing the right thing in getting married. Were there times it was difficult to keep our hands off each other? Yes. Was it worth the wait? ABSOLUTELY.

The poster who said "all kinds of studies" prove how bad waiting for sex works out is simply misinformed and/or not telling the truth. What studies HAVE shown is that promiscuity does NOT guarantee that you will be any happier, sex-wise, after marriage than those who wait. In fact, all it does guarantee is a lot of heartache when the relationships break up, illegitimate babies, abortions, venereal diseases, and a lot of worry about whether your partner thinks he or she is the best you've ever had, because you can compare your spouse to all the others.

Were my husband and I novices in the sex department our first few months? Absolutely. Did it hinder our relationship? Not one bit. We had so much fun exploring each other's bodies for the first time, learning to communicate about what felt good and what didn't, what we liked and what we didn't, learning together to 'reach for the stars' -- and when we got there, the joy of knowing that neither of us had ever felt such stars with anybody else made it so special and so intimate. We've had an AWESOME sex life, and have now been married for 42 years!

I must say here that I feel sorry for some of our friends who didn't wait to be married before having sex. One bride admitted that she felt a real let-down on the honeymoon night, when the groom, having had sex with her many times before, preferred to watch football that night! Another told me after the wedding, just before they left on their honeymoon, that it was a good thing they were going to a tropical place, because there 'wasn't anything exciting' left for them to do. I contrasted that with the awe and wonder of our first night together, and it made it obvious that we made the right choice.

I think it's unrealistic and definitely wasn't for me. I have friends who waited and who were happy with their choice and I had friends who didn't wait who were happy with their choice. I'm not sure I know anyone who regretted their decision.

A persons sexuality is such a personal and individual decision and I hope folks put thought into it. For me, I felt that having a sexual relationship with people I was dating seriously was necessary. Other people may not feel the same way. It's really up to each individual.

I'd much rather a 'breakdown of traditional morals' where everyone understands contraception and birth control and takes control of their reproductive health than a society where you're either 'waiting for marriage' or uneducated and leaving your family planning up to luck.

I wouldn't do it and I wouldn't recommend my kids to do it, but to each their own. I don't understand why sexuality has to be tied to signing a legal document - to me, it's like refusing to have a conversation until you're married. I like to get to know a person from every angle (including sexually) BEFORE I make a decision to tie the knot.

I believe in fully getting to know a person before you marry them, and this includes sexually. Don't want any surprises after the wedding day.

I will start off by saying that I didn't wait and while it wasn't a huge tragedy for me or anything I have had some regrets about it along the way. You hear arguments for and against all the time (just like have been stated here) but I think (believe) that it is the ideal way to do things and the way things were meant to be done.

I went to a family wedding a couple years ago and both were virgins who had rings they had worn throughout their teen years vowing their chastity. There were two clergy members who performed their ceremony. The first person was their youth pastor (they had grown up together in the same church) and he explained the purpose of the rings, about the commitment that the bride and groom had both made and kept, and then he had them each hand him their rings as after that night they would be replaced by their wedding rings. I didn't know them growing up (I just married into the family a few years ago) and to be honest, this choked me up and I have never forgotten it. They are still happily married and neither is out whoring and cheating so I have to believe in their case it worked the way it was supposed to and I am sure that it works for plenty of others too.

My husband and I also got married in september and we also waited.

We've been together for over 4 years and most of that was spent not married and not having sex.

I think people make the mistake of thinking that if people aren't having sex then they aren't having an intimate relationship with each other.

For us, it was kind of the opposite. Because we couldn't just jump each other we had to actually talk to each other. Alot. Because of that we always address problems now, we always know how each other's feelings.

And when it came to finally having sex, not only were we so comfortable with each other, but we had also spent so many years talking about sex that we knew what eachother wanted.

Our marriage hasn't had any problems yet and we have been having sex atleast 3 times a week.

I think it's the saviour of our relationship that we waited.

It wasn't boring, it was hard and it made me know how much he wanted me, but it was worth it..

EDIT: Wow, I've never had a hidden answer before. I don't even get why it was thumbed down... I didn't say it was the best solution. I just said thats what my husband and I did and for us it worked really well. Jeez

I am waiting for marriage. God's word tells us to wait for marriage. So I will wait. If marriage never happens, it never happens. End of story.

I'm not going to waste time that I don't have to waste going outside of God's law and having sex before marriage. It's not worth it.

If you marry inside God's will for your life, you will be compatible with your wife or husband. The Lord created sex, and He created it for marriage.

You give a piece of yourself everytime you have sex with someone. It's not a game. Sex was created for marriage and that's where it will be for me.

1 Corinthians 7

(Instruction on Marriage)

Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to live a celibate life. But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.(NLT)

I think its a good idea, but it hardly ever happens anymore. I thought I would wait, like you did, that didn't happen, but I am marrying the guy I first had sex with and i didn't regret it. That doesn't happen with everybody, but I got lucky. I think if you wait till you find the right guy, and you both believe it( neither of you are making up lies just to get laid), then yeah go ahead. Like other's have said, thats a dream anymore, reality that doesn't happen. It sounds like for you though, that dream did come true :)

What a gift to give the person you'll spend the rest of your life with. How much respect for yourself and your chosen partner does it show when you make the relationship all about everything but sex?