WHATS YOUR OPINION????? CRUCIAL RELATIONSHIP QUESTION?

Life is just too short for this kind of thing. You know, there are a lot of people out there who just have trouble making any relationship work. You girl seems to have issues that really have nothing to do with you, but likely more to do with her own opinion of herself.

She clearly would like to change, but that's difficult for anyone, and while she may be sincere, "changing" is not always something one can do on their own, no matter how bad he or she may want it.

You admit that her crying influences you and i suspect she knows this. Part of the problem is all yours, like caving to such tactics. Tears are not uncommon and you need to learn that sometimes being kind is being a little tough too. You need to understand that while she may be hurt by you letting go (and who isn't?) she will move on eventually and the sooner you get it over with the sooner she can do that, but you have to stand up for what you know is inevitable.

Are you willing to stay with her forever simply because she gets upset or has no place else to go?

And on that last issue, just for the future, People are resourceful. She will find someplace. The manipulation you describe is just that, or much of it, by the way it sounds. The jealousy, the way she got into your house, the tears when you try to talk to her... she is not terribly emotionally mature, is she?

The relief you describe is a sure sign you need to end this. No relationship should be this kind of work. She has issues you cannot help her with or solve for her and believe me, she will have them with every man she is involved with until she decides to get some real help. In the meantime, don't waste your life. It is much kinder to let her go and maybe that experience will encourage real change in her,

.Regardless of her reaction, you deserve to be happy too, but you have to take it with both hands.

Dave,

First off, you should never feel pressured into staying together with someone, especially if they treat you this way. However, it sounds like your girlfriend is a little insecure about herself and uses that as an excuse to act jealous and manipulative.

Speaking from personal experience, I used to be like that. I didn't think I deserved to be loved and as a result I was jealous all the time, thinking that my boyfriend (now husband) was cheating on me. This is partly due to the fact that I came out of a long term relationship finding out that my ex had cheated on me and it made it difficult for me to trust anyone else.

Ten years later I am much more confident in myself and am happily married. If you are willing to give her a chance, I would recommend that your girlfriend go see a therapist (it helped me a lot to come to terms with most of my insecurities). If she doesn't, it will only continue to get worse. The longer you (and she) wait, the more likely it will be that things will only get worse.

I hope that you are able to work through this, but you shouldn't let her blackmail you into staying together (because that is what the crying is doing). I would also recommend making a list of pros and cons for the two of you staying together. Can you see a future together with her? Do you have the same values? Do you enjoy spending time together? Are you able to spend time apart, especially without hurting each other (this is a big one, because if not, it's only destined for failure)?

Good luck and let us know what happens.

To be honest I think you should break up with her, if you say you almost feel happy and you say your sort of in love with her. The best thing for you and her is if you both break up especially if you haven't cheated on her I would absolutly be angry if my boyfriend accused me of cheating when i wasn't. She is crying cos she has no where to go and cos she doesn't want you to break up with her what you should do is break up with her but say that she can stay until she finds somewhere to live give her like a month to find a place that way you won't feel guilty cos your giving her time you can do better.

Good luck

i think you should have a special night together, like take her out to dinner or have a candle-lit dinner at home and make sure it's you that's cooking because she'll feel respected, after that watch a movie that she really likes and she will feel like you really love her, and for now i'd carry on living together so that when she gets home you can have the table ready, if you still start having fights again after that then take a break for not too long but not too short either and see what happens, if things still go bad then you'll have to be strong and dump her because she's obviously messing with your feelings if she carries on after you've done so much stuff for her

Sadly, it sounds like you should take a break, it would mean her moving out though.

She's getting paranoid which a lot of people do, they're so scared of losing someone that they end up losing them

If you feel better when you think it's over, you definately need a break, no matter what your girlfriend says or does.

Let her know that this break could save your relationship but without it, it's almost a definite that it will end horribly.

I hope it ends well my lovely

She is manipulating you, seems to me that the crying was just an act and that you would give in to giving her another chance. If someone doesn't trust you this early in a relationship then I can tell you it won't last. You need to move on buddy, whether she has a place to go not she needs to move out.

once you stated "as long as there is an settlement to maintain the friendship if the relationship does fall through" is once I did the entire squinty eye factor. that is not as hardship-free as all of that. Sh!t happens, you realize and there is not any thank you to vow something like that. authentic acquaintances could make good fanatics, each so often (journey) they make awful fanatics which reminds you why you have been acquaintances in the beginning. or maybe you all began as fanatics yet have been greater useful suitable as acquaintances. it particularly relies upon on the region and the two persons handy. that is rarely cut back and dry.

Your mistake for "Suffering in silence for the last 4 weeks or more"

Don't spoil this *****, she obviously has self confidence issues.

She's gotta toughen up and realize that you love her too much to cheat, if she doesn't she doesn't really love you, and why be in a relationship with someone like that?

Ask her why she thinks you cheat.

you need another girlfriend.. some girls say that yer cheating on them, in a "sad" way, cause they want you to say stuff like "your the only one i want" or crap like that, but if she said it and was for real about it then ya you should defiantly break up with her.. you sound like your someone that deserves way better :) ..i hope this helped.

people don't just change behaviors, they can work on them but it takes alot of commitment and time, and honestly she still most likely wont change. instead of trying to make her who u want find someone that works well they way you are. you can have good times with people and still not have them be "the one"