What do you have to say to those who claim to be "ex-gays"?

I say that their future wives/husbands have a BIG surprise waiting for them when they come home one day!

I'll simply say that I don't know exactly what has happened to them. They have their experiences, and those are NOT something *I* myself have gone through, which makes it very hard for me to properly evaluate them.

However: I have no doubt that most of the people who claim to be ex-gay do indeed THINK they are. But that doesn't necessarily mean it is the case. Also: considering how many of them there are, I would not be surprised if the reasons for their supposed "change" is slightly different for different ex-gays.

Maybe some of them were never truly gay in the first place, but just confused, and they worked through that and came out straight.

Others might have been slightly bi, and just learned to suppress their gay side and focus on their straight one instead.

Yet others might have been fully gay, but learned how to suppress ALL of those desires so that they are now pretty much functionally asexual, for all means and purposes.

And there are probably also lots of cases where they were gay, and even though they try very, very hard NOT to be gay anymore, they obviously still are, just that they delude themselves into thinking they're not. (For members of that latter group who act on their desires in secret, there is obviously a very real risk of getting caught. Just look at Ted Haggard, for one..)

..And perhaps there ARE even people who experienced a slight change towards the heterosexual end of the Kinsey scale. To me that seems UNLIKELY. But I'm not going to say it is completely IMPOSSIBLE. I wouldn't know.

I have never encountered or even heard of someone that was an "ex gay" person, so I absolutely have no idea. I personally don't think it is possible though. I don't think there is anything you can do to make a straight person gay, or vice versa.

They could be bisexual and not have realized it. But probably not too often. Just shoved deep into the closet by detrimental therapy. I'm afraid of anyone who claims to be ex-gay. Because they have horrific homophobia. Would they hurt me?

They are just hiding from themselves most likely that is something you can't change you can only live with it