looking for suggestions to the end....c/c?

First of all, the poem is excellent .

I'm not sure if you are asking for tweaks or if you are not satisfied with the arrangement of the last stanza entirely ? It has, like your first one of the poem a differing rhyme scheme, using a singular to rhyme with a plural. If this is the case, it would take changing of the intent of the stanza.

Since it is the last one, you could perhaps use it to make your final statement a summation of the proceeding, giving it more of a definite feel, something like;

When midnight walks her fingers 'cross the land

Then droopy lidded shadows will there find

That hours slip away to grains of sand

And darkness settles deep within the mind

Let it be said upon my gravestone's write

Within my time, now spent, I've shed some light.

But I like your approach better...the repetition of the 'when's' makes for a nice lament which is in keeping with the gist of the rest of the poem’s mood.

Beg pardon.

Hi... Aww This is so nice your words captured me. I do not know why but I couldn't get them out of my mind. These things in themselves...... .

When midnight walks her fingers 'cross the land

When droopy lidded shadows draw the blinds

When hours slip away to grains of sand

And darkness settles deep within my mind

Let it be said, upon my gravestone write

within my time now spent, I shed some light.

Very lovely poem. Thanks for sharing.

Ababcc – impeccable, Shakespearean, profound, nothing to change.

Now fate, I think, remakes us coz we’re blind,

Change is always needed

And indeed

For fruition, has each time interceded

For partial souls and minds.

The snail has a tremendous urge to live

A purpose-driven strive

A sluggishness that will arrive

A definite ambition

That stays and buoys his incarnation.

I live on borrowed time

But fear has been my crime

that leaves a stifling slime

the comfort of the flame

existing without name

the days are wasted, nights I can’t embrace

what little good I’ve done, I’ve done to grace

and give thanks for light I’ve shared through all my years.

Would I could I'd leave it be,

as the peace I found.

When I am taken and set free

I be be back in hallowed grouns.

Sin I don't see a thing I even have the credentials to change, nor can I see a reason why.

If you change "when hours slip away to grains of sand" to "and when repose sets in on longer hand" (like a clock) you can end it...

From deep abyss I harken back to land

To warn the passer of this heavy sand.

Light....... this blunt and puff but it ain't enough.. so let's bang this ron like there's nothing wrong. O lor D is what im lookin for.... so grant me what I need and plant me 6 feet under like a seed.

I pray that those I leave behind will note

Their lives are sweeter, wrapped in words I wrote

Ohhh - Noman's is more on message than mine!

I didn't find anything in the poem but an idea, which I have expressed in my own question.

*sigh* now there's my Sin. At peak performance! Beautifully writ.

Oh geeez I could not would not change a thing. So good.