how long have you been dealing with anxiety?

I am about 70. I have been all along dealing with such mixed feelings throughout my life. But there is no ultimately no use lamenting like this for me.

I am 21. I have had social anxiety disorder since I was about... 11. I think 5th grade might be the start of it.

It makes you think differently.

I'm going to go get cognitive behavioral therapy in a month or two. I didn't have insurance for a while, so there was nothing I could do. When I did have insurance, I was young, so I didn't know what I was supposed to do. So I tried medication, Paxil was one of them, and they did not work at all.

I knew I wanted therapy, but I thought a 'psychiatrist' was a therapist. I was so confused when she just kept prescribing me things. I didn't know what the difference was, or who to look for.

I love people, and I hate people. I love dressing up crazy, but I can't look people in the eye and I hate being stared at, I hate when people talk to me. So it's an annoying thing.

I regret things forever. I never stop thinking about the things I have done wrong. That includes dropping a pencil in a quiet classroom, saying something to someone that they may have taken the wrong way.. The regret never leaves. It lasts for years. Just as long as I remember it, it will bother me, and make me wince. As if it happened yesterday.

I get excited when I talk to people, but then when I do, I start regretting more and more things about what I said, how I said it, and it ruins it for me. Even when I write to people.

I do not get panic attacks.

I focus on how I walk, I get so anxious when someone in front of me is walking slowly and I want to pass them, I feel like just stopping so I don't have to deal with it. I don't make new friends unless they talk to me first. I avoid phone calls as much as I can, I avoid paying for things at the store.

:)

I'm interested to know why you want this information as it seems to have no effect on you in any way unless you take comfort in knowing that other people have anxiety also. If that is the case then you should know that most people have anxiety at some time.