Was I right to do this?

Question

Right, please do not judge me.
my "bff" has treated me nothing like dirt for a while now.. doing things like:
-slapping me and saying 'cos she felt like it' when i asked her why
-telling my secrets to people i have talked about, getting me into alot of trouble while she stands back and watches, not standing by me when i WAS right aboutt what I had been saying.. and she knows i was
-throwing all my help i have given her back in my face
-not being supportive of me
-controlling and being manipulative towards me
-getting and turning people against me

So, as anyone would, I walked away from her as a friend. The only thing is that, her dad died in january, and she needs someone to lean who is sensible (me, cos my other old friends are not sensible and dont know her as much), but now when you think she would have said sorry to me, she hasnt. she has turned people against me, giving crocodile tears and getting people to do the dirty work for her and give me verbal abuse. me and her have nothing in common, but cos shes controlling she wants to weigh me down (meaning that she wants to make me feel guilty, and she'll keep trying to work things out even though i have said beforehand i no longer want to be friends with her, and I SAID THAT!) i have a new circle of friends now, who are allowed to go out at weekends and i socialize and have things in common with... the only thing is, how can i distance myself further from this girl, i do things like:
-ignore her on fb, msn, ping etc.
-dont talk to her
-talk to other people
-never hang with her
etc.
but how can i suttley trying to get her to stop without the upfront approach because this is upsetting me and she'll always try to get to me, i dont want to shame her by telling everyone so don't suggest that. 
To clarify, she is controlling, mean, manipulative, likes to get what she wants, shows no emotion, doesn't care who she hurts, is a bit of a ned (unlike me, im alot more smart and have a better understanding of things, not just understanding general things that you learn in school, but also life), likes to lean on people in school, cant make her own decisions, socially awkward, controlling..

no-one can ever understand how it feels, i was stuck with her in p5, and dumped her, and the same thing has happened, 7years later. she never learns.

thanks in advance, and sorry for the long paragraphx

Vikki2796 · Accepted Answer

You are completely right to do this! Don't even think about being guilty about yourself! Just keep up the ignoring and evetually she will move on. Don't make eye contact with her. If she persists then my suggestion is to tell her that you dont want nothing to do with her anymore. Explain to her everytthing shes put you through and tell her she doesnt deserve your help. I said that to a girl at my school and she apologised as well but I just said its not good enough and walked away and she left me alone.

A Decade Ago · Answer

I just want to say that i applaud you for stomping your feet down and saying "enough". Most people your age would be so absentminded and just continue to take it or most people think that just becuase it's a best friend, they're allowed to be treated like garbage and wake up hoping things would be different. I have always urged people that get away from toxic people, becuase it's like poison, the more you're around it, the heavier you'll get sick.

Right now, despite the way she's treating you, i believe she's got a sick infatuation of you. I don't know if it's jealousy, confusion or just depression going on in her life and she needs a way to vent. Whatever the case may be, she's oddly drawn to you but is showing it in a weird way.

I would just continue to ignore her or block her. If she comes your way, walk away or get out your cell phone and hold it to your ear, pretending to be too occupied to confront her. She will get the hint sooner or later.

Lisa · Answer

To be honest you've done as much as you possibly can to ignore her. You've done good by ignoring her. She sounds like she has many unresolved issues that she will never really get over. You've told her how you really feel and you're living a better life without her. All you can do is ignore her and just keep living. Eventually she will leave you alone and stop being so egotistical with her needs.

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Was I right to do this?

3 Answers