You throw a birthday party for a child, and someone brings their other children...?

I actually agree with both of you, Heres Why.

Its rude of any parent to bring uninvited children to a party.

I , myself have 7 children and heres why some moms may do this, often if you cant bring all your kids to the same location , whatever it may be, then the one who was invited may have to miss out too, because you dont have babysitting at home to leave some kids while bringing the invited one.

Yes some Moms feel its unfair to make other children stay home when they are not invited, especially if they are too young to fully understand what an invitation even means. Or like me, I have one son who is a bit shy and awkward and he doesnt get invited nearly as much as his older brother and sister do and his feelings are often hurt, and as a mom thats very painful to see.

But as a Mom if my older son is invited to a party, I will call the parent and ask if it is ok if I bring his younger brother as well, they are only 19 mos apart and into the same things. If I do bring more than one child (with moms permission) I have each child bring a small gift, a coloring book or small toy, something showing they are a guest and not just a party crasher and showing their gratitude.

I would never assume the party parent had enough supplies to just bring my kids without asking first. That was rude of those parents.

I would NEVER however send univited kids away , no matter how many showed up. That would be just sad for them, considering it was their thoughtless parents fault and not their own.

I always plan for extras with my kids parties, mainly because I do have so many kids and when others bring siblings , it gives my other kids friends their own age to play with, it actually makes the party go much smoother, in my case. I can see how it would be a nightmare if you are unprepared.

In the future, ,make a little note in the invitation either asking parents not to bring siblings. like: No siblings please.

Or ask them to PLEASE RSVP with the number of children they will be bringing so that adequate food and cake and plates, trinkets will be available.

In the future, if parents bring univited, unexpected kids, tell them kindly and firmly at the door , that they are welcome to stay for games and such, but the parents must stay as well to monitor them and also that there will not be enough cake, door prizes whatever for the univited kids, only the ones that were planned on. This makes is quite clear to the moms, that the other kids were not planned on. And stick to it. NO reason for hubby to go running to the store for extra cake. Keep a couple of extra boxes of Capri Sun on hand to hydrate them , but thats it, Hopefully this helps.

I think it's a really difficult one, but I'm with you and your hubby. I just don't understand why some parents take all their children along to a party that only one child has been invited along to.

It happened to us when my daughter was 4 a couple of months ago.

As it was, I'd had more children accept the invitation that I thought would come and so I was due to have a house full anyway, which I was stressing about.

i mentioned this to one mum whose eldest child had been invited, so she knew I was struggling to fit in all those that has been invited.

On the actual day of the party she rolls up with the invited child and her other 2 year old! Not only that but she was in the middle of potty training the younger one so had this child sitting on a potty trying to do a pooh the whole time! The whole room stunk of pooh and I was horrified!

She expected this younger one to take part in all the games, crafts and food and have a party bag at the end!

This parent was and still is oblivious to the situation as I have heard she's done it elsewhere too!

On balance, I would tend to agree with your hubby - you can cope with the odd one or two extra maybe, but not the numbers you talk about.

Next year, I would get your hubby to stand at the door and say that there's only room for the invited child - not enough chairs, food etc and let him be the bad guy.

No, I'm a bad mum I've never given my son a birthday party and he's 12 lol. He's never actually asked for one, thank god as I'm the most disorganised person ever and it would probably be a shambles lol. When he was younger, we just had his cousins and some family around for a wee party in the house. For the past few years we usually go out for a meal with my sister and his cousin, and he can decide where we go, then maybe go to the pictures or bowling afterwards. If he had ever asked for a party I suppose I would have done it, but it would probably have meant spending a huge amount of money for some shitty place that serves frozen chicken nuggets and having to put up with all the neddy parents (I sound like a pure snob lol) dropping off all their brats and trying to stay to get a free dinner lol.

I can tell you who was WRONG without even thinking about it!--the parents who brought uninvited children to a birthday party! It is utterly inappropriate. It is further inappropriate to bring children to a party who are not even known to your child. Rude X 3!

That said, you are under no obligation to be hospitable to uninvited guests. If you CHOOSE to, well, then...okay. But to have to stop the party to find seating, party favors and go out to buy cake to accommodate the children of these rude, inconsiderate parents...I would not have.

Your husband is correct. Your simplest course of action would have been to say, at the door, "I'm sorry, my son invited those friends he wanted to celebrate with, and I've made accommodations for a party for just so many. Much as I would like to invite you to stay, I can't this time. The party should end at such and such time. I'll see you then."

Your husband is right, the uninvited kids should have been sent on their way. If a parent insists that ALL their kids must attend the party if ONE is invited, then tell that parent that you rescind the invitation, and you will have to just explain to your child why his friend couldn't attend.

Basically, these parents are trying to get free babysitting. And other parents are letting them get away with it.

I don't care if each uninvited child brings a gift. When planning a party, one has to figure out how many guests to feed, and plan games for, and have seating for. It's not OK to even ask if another sibling can attend. If the host(ess) had wanted more guests, s/he could have invited them. The only time it's OK to bring a guest is if the invitation says "and guest". And most of us are trying to keep our parties on a budget. It's just not as easy as saying "Alfred, open up another case of champagne", most of us don't HAVE another cake in reserve, or more party bags. When these selfish parents show up with uninvited kids, they are forcing the host(ess) to try to divide supplies among too many kids, and that's not fair to the kids whose parents are considerate. Yeah, it sucks for the kids who have parents who pull this sort of thing, but that's life.

I have a party coming up soon and this is really bugging me. What's up with the parents asking first if they can bring the other children? Least that way you can say yes and know how many you need to cater for or say no so they know where they stand. Just to turn up and expect free child care/entertainment is plain out of order.

I only hope that this doesn't happen to me soon.

I think you are both right in a way but I think its the other parents who were very wrong!!

I have 4 children and would never take them along to a party where they were not invited....whats wrong with people these day!!

Your husband is absolutely right. In future you need to be very explicit because so many parents have this insane expectation that wherever they go it is OK to bring a dozen squalling brats along too. You tell them any extra uninvited children will be sent home, period. And the one who brought seven rug rats should be removed from your life entirely.

I think its disgusting that the parents brought there other children without asking!

As I type my wife is getting my daughter ready for a party whilst my other 3 are sitting in my mums waiting to be picked up AFTER the party.

It has happened to me with one other sibling but 7 is just out of order!

What a bunch of rude and inconsiderate moochers! What do they want from you? Free food? Free babysitting? And may I ask, did they bring anything? It doesn't look it. You had two go out and buy two extra cakes!!! I can't believe this all happened to you. The next time you need to go somewhere and need someone to take care of your son, you have a lot of places where they owe you one!