scared of eating out quite complicated, NEED a QUICK FIX! PLEASE!! please someone help me.?

ok this may sound strange, stupid or pathetic or anything else along those lines and before you have a go at me I KNOW! OK! so please no one give me the third degree on this please. ive got enough friends and fam laying into me about this. im just looking for some FRIENDLY advice PLEASE!!!!

background info; im 21 mum of 2. husband died june 09 and he was very violent to me the last 2years of his life. in that violent stage is when i started having this problem with eating.

(will just clarify my children do not see my troubles with eating and eat very healthy not picky or fussy, eat whatever put on a plate)

ok so it started with getting palpitations when eating peanuts then my throat started closing when eating hazelnuts. so i laid off them. ive had blood test to test if im allergic to nuts and it was inconclusive?! they wanted me to do a skin Allergy test but i was too scared to do it. as it puts nut oil on you and i am very scared of dying. i am undergoing therapy and am now very much considering taking the test but not quite ready.

since getting these anaflactic feelings (which i am highly thinking are panics but could be allergic reaction) i have become terrified of foods. im vegetarian and my diet is limited. i have become very obsessed with what i eat and now wont let anyone cook for me.

i have started seeing a guy. i really really like him and things are going along at a steady pace. he has wanted to take me out to dinner from day one and i do really want to eat out with him. but everytime someone else cooks something for me i end up not eating it and or having a massive full blown ''im gunna die'' panic attack!? our date is friday for going for a meal. i need to find a way to manage this quick as possible! im just so scared of my food being contaminated with nuts or there not being a vegie nut free dinner option. is there anything i can do?! im terrified. i have kinda told this guy how i feel but not in depth... i want him to like me for my qualities.. and not see my troubles for now, the relationship is new and we're so young so it needs to stay exciting. not filled with my silly emotions?! does anyone understand?! please anyone with some kind advice i would appreciate it so much.