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i think this is the most amazing joke ever. It's a little long but so worth it.?
It was a busy day in Heave so St Peter decided to only let in people who had a really bad day he day they died. So the first guy comes up and St Peter says Tell me about the day you died. So the guy says I suspected my wife of cheating on me so I went home early to catch her in the act. When I got there she was in bed with a supposed migraine. I looked all over for the man but I couldn't find him. Then I went out onto the balcony and saw a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips. I went inside and got a hammer and started hammering his fingers. He fell off but we only live on the 3rd floor and he landed in some bushes. So I pushed our fridge onto him. The strain of the act killed me. St Peter said I admit that`s a pretty bad day. And even though you committed a crime it was a crime of passion so you can go in. Then the next guy came and st Peter said tell me about the day you died. and he said I live on the 4th floor of an apartment. I just finished doing yoga and i was airing out my mat on the balcony when the wind blew it out of my hands i leaned out to grab it and I fell off my balcony. Luckily I managed to grab the balcony below me and hang on. I was just about to yell for help when this guy comes out and starts hammering my fingers. I screamed at him to stop but he kept going until I fell off the balcony. Fortunately I landed in some bushes but then that idiot with the hammer pushes a fridge on me. Ok that`sa pretty bad day St Peter admits trying to hold back his laughter. You can go in. He thinks to himself Im beginning to like my job. Then the third guy comes up and St Peter asks about the day he died and he says ok picture this Im naked hiding in a fridge.
Is it not amazing!!
4 Answers
- 1 decade ago
daughter : '' hey mum me and my boyfriend are just going to my room. ''
mum : '' ok dont do anything stupid ''
* mum hears her daughter screaming ''BAABBY BAABBY BAABBYY OOHHHH'' !! *
* mum rushes up stairs *
mum : ''what are you doing !!?!??!!''
...daughter : ''get out mum we are having sex !!.''
mum : ''ohhh thank god, i thought you were listening to justin bieber.''
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Johnny at the Park
Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods.
Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing.
...
Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly.
"MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND...."
Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story.
So Johnny tells her. "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy...."
At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story.
He describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and, "Then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army."
- Anonymous1 decade ago
that is a good joke :)
- Anonymous1 decade ago
lmaoo!
