If you were dating someone that you really cared for and you found out...?

Why would someone not want to have sex because they haven't in a long time? Wouldn't that be an incentive TO have sex? I don't understand.

It sounds like they just need a little bit of encouragement. Imagine not having sex for 20 years, you eventually fall into it just not being important and you live around that. I know several people who havent had sex for 20 ish years and both are women. They are scared to get into a relationship because they think thats all the guy would want. I think its kinda like losing your virginity all over again. Try being loving and encouraging to the person without pressuring them for sex. Make them feel desirable and feel like they are the ones that want it instead of feeling like they have to give it up. Maybe something traumatic happened to them?

I would want to know why he/she hasn't had sex in 20 years. There's a reason. Are you intimate in other ways? Wondering if he/she is gay.

well they should have sex, they just arent ready for that commitment i guess.