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"guest" pay for dinner?

I will be "eloping" with my boyfriend next year. It will only be me and him and our parents there as witness. no one else. me and him will be going away for a camping trip for a couple of days to attempt a cheap honeymoon type thing for us. we enjoy camping. he is in the navy so we will be moving to another state shortly after. we can't afford anything, i don't want the fuss of throwing a wedding, party or anything, it's why i'm not even telling people about us being engaged or getting married because we can't afford to have anything grand. friends and family can go nuts during weddings, and make outrageous request, and have an opinion on everything. so that's why is all hush hush.

so now, we do want to just get together, at some local byob restaurant here where we live some days later. they have a room you can reserve for 15 people. just italian nothing fancy meals range from 6 bucks 20. 20 is the most expensive thing on the menu. . we just wanted to have dinner to say bye to friends one last time (everyone knows we will be living together after his deployment, but they don't know we are marrying right before the move) and just kinda announce the news. would people expect us to pay for that? and how do we announce the dinner to our friend? i mean i figure it be no different that when a friend says oh i'm having a birthday dinner and everyone pays for their own stuff . it's not a reception. i was just wondering how the heck do i go about all this? lol

Update:

it's a just a way to get everyone in one room to do something.we have a lot on our plates to do. moving, him returning from deployment. we just have to work around his schedule,so nothing is ever set on stone and everything has to be done last minute.

we are moving to california, we need every little money we do have to start out as a couple. it's not a dinner in our honor. it's like a lets eat one last time together, oh hey by the way we got married. i just dont want to up and leave people without seeing them one last time or without telling them. i don't want to throw a party,we won't even have a home by then.i will just be living at my mom's small house till it's time to leave. seriously he is coming home, getting married, leaving in like 3 days of that. it really would have to be something simple, small, and nothing that takes forever.

6 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Don't pay for them that's ridiculous. You're friends aren't expecting a free meal so why give them one? Just say it's a get together and then tell everyone you got married, they'll all love it trust me. To be honest, reading this made me think of when I was 8 and my parents, grandma, aunt, brother and I went out for lunch and my parents suddenly announced they were getting married the next day! My gran was so happy she paid for lunch so maybe your friends will do the same :) xxx

  • Kiara
    Lv 4
    10 years ago

    People organise for people to have dinner all the time and no one expects the organiser to pay. It's not like you are telling everyone what they will be eating, and having it as your reception. People are going out for dinner, paying for what they want off the menu, and you are telling them you are married.

    If you do feel awkward about the payment situation though, perhaps you could just do casual drinks and dinner at your house?

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Think about it,,,

    When you go out to lunch with friends, do they expect you to pay their bill? No. If this is just a gathering of friends, you shouldn't feel any obligation to buy any meal but your own, even if you're the one starting the plans in motion.

    However, if you are inviting people to a social occasion in honour of you and yours/your new marriage, etc; then you're crossing the line to host and you need to pay for the meals.

    From the sounds of it, this is the former.

  • 10 years ago

    Just text those you wish to come and say we want to get together with ppl before we leave and yes its ok to ask ppl to pay maybe you could pay for some finger foods to be on the table as an entree for your guests, but its fine to ask people to pay in my opinion.

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  • 10 years ago

    "we're all meeting for dinner at Joe's want to come?"

  • jr
    Lv 4
    10 years ago

    Pay for them you're suppose to cater to the guests as much as possible. Make them feel welcome and invited.

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