Wanting to write a story, please read? :)?

Question

Now my exams are over, i'd really like to sit down and write something :) This is an idea for a story i'd call Solemn Presence. This is just a rough plot and I know it needs more detail..

Since her mother's death, Megan Kaye has felt more alone than ever. Her brother and father have a close relationship and she feels she doesn't fit in. Megan feels left out at school too, her friends are closer to each other than they are to her.
She is distracted by reoccurring dreams of a fire in her house from which she can't escape. Each time, she awakes feeling hot and finding it difficult to breath. 
One day, the nightmare twists and instead, she is talking to a boy who lives in her house with his dad and sister. When she wakes, she finds the boy in her room. The boy's name is Tom, he reveals that he too feels secluded; his younger sister gets all the attention at home, while he is bullied at the new school he moved to after his mother's death. The two children become friends however, neither of them understand why the other is there. Megan tells Tom about being trapped in the fire and how she feels when she awakes. Megan then hears loud footsteps and crashes in her house, her brother teases her by saying she is insane and her father denies hearing anything, so Megan begins to seriously question herself.
The story is then told from Tom's point of view. After a difficult day at school, Tom finds an article online about the car crash his mother was killed in. He discovers Megan's mum was killed in the same car crash and both Megan and Tom were injured. He researches Megan's family name and finds another article, revealing that the remainder of Megan's family were killed in a house fire, only a month after the mother's death. Tom realises the house he has moved into was the house where Megan’s family died. 

The story is again told by Megan, she returns home from school to find her house looking completely different. It is an exact replica of the house Tom was in, in her dream. She runs upstairs to her room to find Tom, who is not surprised to see her or that the house is different. He shows her the article and Megan slips into a daydream of the fire. Tom never sees her in his home again...

(Basically, Megan believed Tom was a ghost in HER house, but really she was the ghost in HIS house. The deaths of their mothers and the fact they were both involved in the crash connected them. Megan had felt secluded from everyone because she really was. Once Tom revealed the truth to her, she finally joined her family at peace).

This was longer than I expected, but would you read this if it was a book? Does it sound interesting enough or are there other things I could add in? Also, do you have any better names I could use? Any ratings or advice would be much appreciated :)

blue bird · Accepted Answer

Hi! I love your ideas and all, but i felt as if you're story sounded very familiar to me. After a little bit of thinking, I finally figured it out. IMO, this sounds (DON'T LAUGH) exactly like that RL Stine book that we all read when we were younger, "The Ghost Next Door." The only difference is that the main character's name is Hannah but the fire is in there. The other difference is that she dies in the FIRE, not a car accident. She believes the new boy next door is a ghost and goes on to prove it to everyone... But (Spoilers!) She turns out to be the ghost and the boy proves it to her and she finally joins her family at the end in peace. Sounding familiar now? I think you should change a bit around in the story then continue writing! :D

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2911120-the-ghost-next-door
Thats the link to the book, scroll down to the fourth review where she says that the girl is a ghost. If you don't believe me, read the book (it takes like 30 minutes or watch the show! << That's where I remembered it from!)

EDIT: I don't mean to be all rude or anything, it just sounded very familiar in my own opinion :D And the whole fire thing is in the story with the dream (It's actually the first sentence of the book, its on amazon lol) and ya it kinda freaked me out that i was hearing everything again and i thought it was deja vu at first but ya, that part is extremely similar! and so is the whole "she-believes-he's-a-ghost-but-she's actually the ghost." You should check out the first chapter of that book and change around some stuff, it would greatly improve the plot! I agree it sounds very original(great idea!) but they're are lot of similarities between your book and RL Stine's book. And plus a lot of Goosebumps fans + RL Stine wouldn't recognize it then and be happy with it :DD

Hope I helped and Happy Writing!

? · Answer

It's interesting and I like the twists too, but that's the thing.  They need to be twists.  As soon as you said she wakes and finds a boy in her room - I knew it was a ghost.  How else could a random boy just appear in a girl's room?  They could meet another way and it would be more mysterious.  Changing points of view is also really, really difficult but you could play with it and see what works.  

Cool ideas, really.  I do love a ghost story, so I think if you made Tom more like a real person it would be more of a surprise at the end.  Good luck, sounds like an intriguing story!

I&#39;m sort of homestuck. · Answer

You have a great talent for writing :). 
I like the twists that you threw in there, such as the car crash that connected the two.  And the fact that Tom is living in Megan's old house. 
But, I would suggest adding a bit more details.  Tiny ones like the color of the house, the color of the car in the crash.  The Appearance of Megan and Tom.  The appearance of any character actually.  Details lure the reader in.  Give them a more visual picture in their head. 
Other than that, I would definitely read this book.  It had a lot of twists to keep me interested.  And the title seems great too. :)

Rubbermaid · Answer

Wow....amazing! It's very mysterious...and some readers might find this novel a bit tricky, but I absolutely find this summary prolific. The title of your novel is just right for your book. I'm thinking you could give a more unique name for Tom, like Timothy. Since Megan is the ghost in Tom's house, maybe you could add detail that gives reader a tiny hint that she is the ghost. Out of a 10, I would give this rough plot a 8! Good luck and hopefully your book will be sitting on my bookshelf! :)

Woah Woah Woah Woah · Answer

That sounds awesome! I too like to write a lot and I wished I had thought of writing a story like that. I like the name Meagan, but I think the boys name should be a little more unique. You did a great job. Congrats. And yes, I would read it.

Nicole · Answer

Oh my gosh how did you think of this? This is a great story I have to say! I would definitely read it it sounds very cool. Also I think you should name the girl Nicole! :) (That's my name! hehe)

Dolly · Answer

I love this 10 THUMBS UP

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Wanting to write a story, please read? :)?

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