Could someone please help?

Question

This may end up being a little long. But i will try to keep it to the point. Alright so i am a girl, age 17 and fear that i have some sort of psychological problem, or multiple. I have done much research and even took AP psychology this past year which may have put the wrong ideas in my head. Anyways, to start out with i get really frustrated when things aren't clean. My room is always spotless and i make my bed each morning, and when i see dust starting to develop anywhere i get in to an immediate cleaning mode. Some days are worse than others, but overall my family is kind of messy and i am always cleaning up after them. I have a routine where i go into the bathroom that i share with my two older brothers and i will sometimes literally get on my hands and knees and scrub the toilet and its surroundings. I have pet peeves with how the way the pillows are arranged on the couches in my house and if theres a table cloth on the dining room table i have to take it off because i just get bothered by it. Tonight i went a little crazy and vacuumed at 10:30 pm because i have been gone for 2 days. I also stuck post it notes around the house stating to "learn how to clean or else" now looking back at that i'm a little scared about myself. Theres other things that i do but i think i got to the point. Another issue i have is anxiety. i am not diagnosed with it neither have i really talked about it with anyone in a serious matter. I try to avoid situations where i know i may end up getting embarrassed. I literally sweat under my arms for no reason at all. I'll put on a shirt in the morning and by the time i get to school i have pit stains.i also hav really shaky hands and a fast heartbeat. At night its really hard for me to get to sleep, i get this paranoid feeling about death, and i feel like my heart stops so i am always checking my pulse. Its strange, i know. Also by the way i literally havent talked to anyone about my concerns, i am an overall popular girl and hang out with friends daily. People think i am a happy beautiful girl but sometimes i really feel like i live a double life. Not to be dramatic but its true. Two days ago it was my birthday and i hate the attention people get for it being their birthday..so much that i just get really annoyed, i told my family not to by me a cake yet they did...i just get angry about it not around my friends but a little to my family. i tend to keep these things to myself..so much so i woke up this morning and i literally couldn't get out of bed because i had such a hard time falling asleep in the first place and i just felt super annoyed for no reason. Sometimes me and my friends joke that i need to put a "do not disturb" sign on me. Anyway when i finally decided i better wake up and do something today i went to the kitchen to make my banana choc chip muffins that everyone loves (also i love to make others happy or impressed even if its out of my way) and i was half way through making them when i realized we were out of eggs. in a quiet,angry,annoyed voice i said "are you kidding me we dont have eggs?" to my mom and didn't let her respond i just dropped everything and walked to my room and slammed the door going to my bed and i just started crying. Sorry for that some what pointless story but im just concerned about myself. Some more things about me are that i have a fear of peanut butter, and nuts in general because im scared if i eat them ill get an allergic reaction, same way goes with medication and pills.Most days i try to keep myself together but there are at least once a week where i just breakdown, not in front of others but to myself. i have thought about suicide but then a minute later i realize how messed up that is and i know i would never take my own life. I just get so down and ignore my phone and try to cry but literally sometimes no tears will come. Are these things a normal part of being a teen or do i need help? Thank you so much if you took the time to read this, i really do appreciate it.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I am around your age and honestly, sometimes I get the exact same way. I think most teens get frustrated easily and have breakdowns sometimes. You sound a little OCD, but I think everyone is a little bit. :P Everyone also has irrational fears, like yours about peanut butter. What you are going through is more normal than you think. As a teen I get sad or annoyed over little things or for no reason. I have had suicidal thoughts, but I know I would never really kill myself. Just try to act/be happy and appreciate all the good things in life. Make it a habit to behave this way and your habits will become who you are. Enjoy Life! When I start to stress about things I stop and take a timeout to do things that will help me relax. Somethings I do are...
-take the dog for a quick walk
-try to be social with my friends(even though I don't feel like it)
-look at old pictures
-think things through and figure out why I am stressing so I can talk things out with myself in order to figure out what I need to do to fix my problems
-take a long bath
-try to look at the big picture (is this really going affect my whole life? will I honestly even remember this in years to come)
-take a nap
-write a list of all the good in my life and a list of all the bad in my life, then when I realize that the list of good is so much bigger than the list of bad I feel so grateful
-apologize to my parents for snapping at them and nicely tell them that I need some time alone
These are just a few things that I do when I am having a panic attack and freaking out. Sometimes to me it feels like my world is falling down around me. (Sorry if I sound like a drama queen, but I actually think this sometimes :P ) One thing I strongly suggest is talking to your mom about things. I know we all have our differences with our parents, but if you are close to your mom life will be far less stressful. Tell your mom about how you have been feeling and your pet peeves and she will help you. She has been through it all before and will jump at the chance to help you. Even if her advice frustrates you, just explain things to her and remember that she loves you and is on your side. Our parents just want the best for us. Just try to stay happy  and cherish every moment of life. I hope I helped.

? · Answer

It was interesting to read it all,and let me tell you one thing,this is pretty much normal and many teens in this age feel like this,I assume you are your High school,and a famous girl,so thats the reason you feel like you are bit above others that makes you like this.

Its nothing to worry about that  you clean & get angry .These changes come .But the thing which is disturbing is that you even think of suicide ,your kind of girl shouldnt think about suicide ever.

What I recommend to you is,get a vacation of about a week and go alone to some place,like hiking or adventure for just 5-6 days,dont take anyone ,with you try to be independant.After the adventure trip you will feel how much blessed you are and will feel good.

Actually people in your friend circle praise you and this makes you bit more confident ,when you come to your family ,you show them bit of attitude because of this reason.Your mother knows that you are going through something.

I am sure you are not that kind that cuts or something like that.If you need further guidance feel free to contact me.And pl dont worry its pretty fine once you are out of high school you will get so busy !

? · Answer

There is no need to take your life!  God gave you your life, and you're so beautiful and unique.  There is no one else on Earth like you.
  This sounds like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).  Which, by the way, I believe I have, so, you are not alone.  I know a little what the cleaning thing feels like, haha.  It is something you can overcome, though, with God's help!  If it is severe, which it sounds like it may be, (do not panic), talk to your parent(s) or adult you trust about it.  If you really feel this worried about it, you should talk to someone and take a visit to the psychiatrist, and he or she may prescribe some medication for you.  This is actually a pretty common disorder!

God bless!!

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Could someone please help?

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