Is there any specific rules to dating in Japan?

All of the details of this go well beyond the scope of YA. And while there are some customs, you must also realize that everyone is different and not all people follow the same rules just because they're from a certain part of the world.

In the US, some don't have sex before marriage. Others do. Some people live together but never get married. Others marry first. Some split the bill, some pay for everything.

The same thing goes for Japan. Sure, there are some common social "norms" or "expectations", but there are no hard and fast rules that every single person abides by.

Dating in Japan typically doesn't begin before college. In high school, like the example you provide that is pretty common. Members of the opposite sex will study, or hang out, but there is very seldom any intimacy.

Now consider this; most people that want advice with regard to culture when dating outside of their race/culture is for the purpose of meeting or impressing people. If you are already in a relationship, it seems rather non-sequitur to ask for insight after the fact.

You have to be yourself in all of it. It's up to him to bring to you or participate in the relationship in a way that is comfortable to him. If that's the way he wants to do things, then it's his responsibility to make that happen, at which point you can either decide to go along with it, or not.

Also understand, for a lot of parents they're nervous about their children being in interracial relationships. It doesn't necessarily mean they are racist or think less of other races. They may worry about the social implications and difficulty their child will experience at the hand of others. They may be largely ignorant about the culture of the partner which may lead to fears that it could lead away from goals they've set forth for their child. It's complicated.

In short; be yourself. If there is some "method" by which he wants to do the dating, let him be the one to institute that, and if it's something you're ok with, then you can agree to it.

Bear in mind also that the relationship is with him and not his parents. If his parents are opposed, there is not much you can do about that.

I was with a Chinese girl for 3 years (I'm white). Her parents absolutely hated my guts, and I was never anything but cordial and polite with them, even when they were downright rude to me. But for our time together it worked out, because our relationship was with each other, and not based upon how well I got along with her parents. His parents are his problem.

Monica, I'm not an expert on this but what I would tell you is:

Screw the rules and just have a good time with him! When you go to Japan again just tell the guy to hang out sometime and then go have some fun with him. Do anything both would enjoy, like a movie, an amusement park, walking or just talking in a café, I don't know... you two know what you like doing :D

Don't think in terms of 'dating' or 'rules' or other traditional conditioned social crap, just share and talk with him. Get to know him better and let yourself be known too. It doesn't matter if his parents don't want you two to know each other better, what's important is what you and the guy feel for each other.

As for stuff like holding hands, hugs, splitting the bills, etc... just use your own judgment and common sense. Do you think giving him a hug as a greeting is rude or un-respectful when you guys like each other? Holding hands? Kissing? Sometimes society's status quo is just plain stupid... just saying xD

well im saying this from one perspective. A lot of Japanese people are very old fashion. In Asian when a guy like's a girl he would usually court her. and about the kissing thing, its not often they show public displays of affection. i don't know if there's any rules but its different for everyone. about the splitting the bill that is true but like i said earlier, it can be different for everyone

lol a quote i heard but i don't know how its from "there are no rules when i comes to romance"

There is no real "rule" in dating in Japan. It depends on each couple. So you can just stay as yourself.

>They don't kiss, hold hands or even hug.

Kissing or hugging in public are frowned upon in Japan. But it's not rule. You can do it if you like.

>Also, when they go out to eat, they split the bill.

Billing is not a rule matter, either. It depends on each couple.