I'm writing a novel. How's my writing on a scale of 1-10?

Question

“Sure.” In a happy daze, I stood up and followed him through the door. I had just acted crazy, childish even. But John kissed me. Kissed me. And it was a real one, not like the ones boys would sloppily fleck on your tongue right before a party was over.This was real and enough to make me forget how foolish I had been. It was enough to make me forget about the spy talk. And that I really didn’t know John yet. Not like I thought I did.

    But, that was life: the good always preceded the bad. Just as I was getting used to the sunny days with Megumi and staring at John from a distance, my days gradually grew darker. Megumi, sensing wedding time was coming, began fretting about doing exciting things before her fiance arrived from Tokyo. Father continued about his daily business, but I noticed something was wrong when he placed an extra lock on his study door. Deep down, I wondered if he suspected me of rifling through his papers. Mr. Yamamoto continued to show up at our apartment, but he stopped graciously saying “hello” as he previously had. I was greeted with a grunt, if anything at all. Mother grew more nervous, acting like she was walking on eggs, and I hardly saw John. Only on the street did I see him. It was Pilar who remained the same, smirking whenever I mentioned John, and scowling as Mr. Yamamoto arrived at our door.

    Life continued in this manner for several weeks on end, until I realized my birthday was fast approaching. I’d be 17 years old, and without a present to my name. I’d resolve the situation quickly: by asking Father for a party. It would be a gala, full of champagne and dancing under palm trees on a beach.

    It was July, and the gentle June temperatures had surged. The air was now pulsing with sticky, humid heat. Everywhere I went, whether it be the streets, or to my bed, sweat would accumulate. I took to staying indoors, and as a result, grew pale. The heat was stifling, to say in the least.

    Around the second week of July, on a glowing Sunday morning, I approached Father in his study. The mahogany doors were barred shut, so I rapped gently, feeling the wood gently scrape me underneath my knuckles.

    “Who is it?” His voice was gruff and tensed. He was usually peachy in the mornings. I backed away from the door cautiously, one step at a time.

    “It’s me, Alice. Your daughter!” I tried to sound surprised, but wasn’t sure if it worked.

    “You can come in now,” came his voice.

    I pushed open the door. The heft was pleasantly surprising, as it hadn’t been opened by me since June. As I walked in, he laid down whatever paper he was reading and smiled at me amiably.

“Hello, Alice,” he said. He was quiet for a second, then added “How has the Philippines been for you?”

I realized we hadn’t talked in some time, and mustered up any courage I had. It was oddly nerve racking, almost like talking to a stranger. Except  the stranger was my father.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I would say 7/10! It was good and kept my attention throughout the entire paragraph. I would try to make more sense of the page and definitely check spelling a grammer, although I didn't find any in here. ;) Will you read some of my newest novel, Tuesday Morning? I'm putting it as a question now... :)

ogarro · Answer

a million) In being printed interior the destiny by way of a genuine writer that pays you? 10 >> I won't supply up till it happens :D 2) which you're writing a variety-placing novel that all human beings else will prefer to repeat, like Twilight and Harry Potter. 5 >> this is fairly unique, so i don't be responsive to that anybody will prefer to repeat it. they might, yet i'm not constructive. 3) which you would be printed interior the subsequent 7 years. 6 >> i flow to maintain writing, so this is certain to take place finally 4) which you will nevertheless be writing interior the form or classification (YA, person, non-fiction) which you're writing immediately? 10 >> i like writing YA and delusion is my hobby. i've got enjoyed delusion and YA novels all my existence. 5) which you would be a properly accepted author. 6 >> i'm going to shop getting greater proper the greater I write, so there's a great possibility i'm going to be a minimum of somewhat properly be responsive to. If i'm not, oh properly. i'm going to easily shop writing. 6) which you will get artwork printed in a expert-paying magazine like Asimov's. 5 7) That in case you grow to be printed you will have the skill to stop your day interest and write comprehensive-time. 3 >> i'm making plans on having 2 jobs, writing being one among them. 8) in case you grow to be printed, one among your books would be made right into a action picture. 5 >> i don't care too lots the two way at this ingredient 9) you would be coaching ingenious writing or literature. a million >> i'm not majoring in ingenious writing or literature, so I heavily doubt i'm going to be coaching them. 10) you will marry a author. 3 >> I in elementary terms require that my destiny husband respects my loopy writing conduct ^.^ 11) you will use your publishing funds to commence a non-earnings business enterprise. 4 12) in case you're printed, you will supply away a each year scholarship to a pupil majoring interior the humanities. 4 13) you would be writing novels whether you're previous and on your dying mattress. 10 >> I swear i'll lose my innovations if i don't write. 14) you will write 20 novels on your existence-time, printed or not. 8 >> i flow to jot down as long as i'm in any respect able, so i'm fairly constructive i'm going to get around that many finally. 15) you will write a novella. 10 >> I already have actually, nevertheless i don't be responsive to it is going to ever be printed.

Anonymous · Answer

It's good, but I got a little confused as to what was suppose to be happening, although I'm guessing that might be because it's a section from a full piece of writing, i'd say 8/10 score wise

? · Answer

Its ok, needs some more work but its good.

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I'm writing a novel. How's my writing on a scale of 1-10?

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