What do you think of my writing?

Have you ever asked a soldier what they learned on the way to war? This is the story of a girl soldier and her search to find the her boyfriend from school on her return from a rough tour of afghanistan. Would you read it?

As I walked down the street with a million thoughts running through my head, it occurred to me, he might not even live here anymore. If he did, he'd probably have moved on with his life, have a decent job and a decent girlfriend, he might not even want to know me. "But that's ok, I'll still love him" I told myself. I had to see him, I needed more than the memories that faded like smoke in the wind, because without them, I had nothing.

I rounded the corner and the back of his house came into view, one side of the tree-house had collapsed, the wood splintered and the paintwork faded and cracked. The hedge was overgrown and untidy and the grass needed cut. The muddy football boots and trainers were missing from the back door, the place looked sad and neglected. I clung on to the picture of him in my head, his dark blue eyes, defined cheekbones and his messy brown hair. Some of the details became slightly blurred over time, like his scent, his smile, the way he tilted his head to one side when he was thinking. His voice, I couldn't remember exactly how it sounded, his soft Irish lilt used to give me goosebumps but it had been so long since I'd heard it. 

On approach to the front garden my breath caught in my throat. Like the back, the garden was a mess, the flower beds were obscured by weeds and the grass reached my knees. His stepdad had been a keen gardener, I really was beginning to worry that he didnt live here. A small single-storey extension had been added to the side of the house where the driveway used to be, it was fairly new as a layer of dust and sand covered the ground. Perhaps the most noticeable difference was the large metal ramp that ran from the door to where the front gate should have been. This wasn't his house. I forced myself to breathe steadily, perhaps the new occupant would know where he was now? Maybe they would have a contact number or an address or something, anything. The sound of my footsteps on the ramp echoed loudly, making my heart hammer furiously in my chest, keeping my breaths even, I rang the doorbell.

I prayed silently for him to come to the door, for him to smile in surprise and invite me in. I'd missed his cheeky confidence and his quick sense of humour. He'd open the door and make some smart comment about me taking my time, I'd answer back and soon we'd be laughing and cracking jokes just like old times. So much for my prayers, I never believed in god anyway.

After what seemed an eternity, I heard shuffling feet approaching. A dog began barking and pawing at the door, making a screeching sound as it's paws scraped against the plastic. The key turned in the lock, I forced a smile onto my face as the door swung open.

The large golden retriever rushed forwards, sniffing frantically at my feet, then wagging his tail excitedly. He remembered! The last time I'd seen him he was only a puppy, this meant he was here, Sammy was his dog. His stepdad stood in the doorway almost exactly how I'd remembered him, he was balding now and going grey. He had more of a belly and the lines on his forehead and around his mouth said that he'd aged more than the two years I'd been gone. He wore the same faded slippers and patient smile, nothing fazed him, it never had. I drew a deep breath, "Hi, is Luke around?"     

If he was shocked, he masked it well. I'm not sure the same could be said for me, my hands were trembling as I rubbed behind Sammy's ears and the smile on my face felt awkward and fake. "Come in AJ, don't just hover on the doorstep" I met his gaze and grinned. Those were the exact words he said to me the night Luke had brought me to meet his family. I stepped inside and his stepdad nodded towards the front room "He's in there" before shuffling down the hall way to the kitchen, Sammy at his side. The door to the front room was slightly ajar and it made no sound as I opened it. The scene that met me was like a sickening punch to the gut.

I appreciate your thoughts, opinions, constructive criticism and ideas for improvement. Thanks for reading :) This is the start, like chapter 1 but there's a prologue I wrote of the main character in the heat of a firefight struggling deal with a wounded comrade. I'll add that if you want to see it. If you have any thoughts on how you would like the plot to go then I'd love to hear them too. Not to copy though! Just to look at other story directions :)

Thanks again :)