should i dump this friend?

Both, I suspect. I feel like I just need to vent about this but maybe someone has some perspective or advice. I have this friend i have known for a little over 2 years. she is my best friend but also my only close girlfriend in the same town as me. she lives with her boyfriend in a 2 bedroom trailer. Her 3 kids live in the second bedroom, and these are two girls age 3 and 4 and a boy aged 6. almost the whole time i have known her, her bf is very very abusive towards her, in front of the kids, hurting her and even threatening to kill her etc. he has guns in the house but she doesn't seem to be worried about this. i do not go over there or have anything to do with her bf because i caught him looking at naked pics of me on my phone. she knows about this.

so i do have a few specific complaints about her....

she can never come over until late at night, like anywhere between 830 and 10. i hate this! obviously i can't go over there earlier bc of the bf. i work all day and by that time i want to be in my pjs (or less lol) and relaxing with my husband.

when she does come over, she walks in and starts talking about whatever she wants to, in a very loud voice. she does not look around and take stock of what we were doing before she came in, she just changes the whole game plan. like hello, why do you think our dvr is sitting there on pause??? i think this is very socially rude.

i have tried so many times to get her help with her situation. i've offered her to stay at my house, rent free, and we would help her find a job and watch the kids. in our town we have a program where they will pay your rent for a year if you are abused and want to get out and can show them you already have a job. they just need to see two pay stubs and you're set for rent for a year. and she gets foodstamps for food. i got her a job at the place i work and even though she was laid off after two months, she had way more stubs than she needed to go get help at this place. we even offered to take her there, but no.

this is the latest thing, she got arrested for shoplifting. now, i am no angel myself so this is not in itself the problem, but all she does is whine about it and blame it on her bf instead of take responsibility for what she did. she has been going on and on about this for days. but when my husband and i got in a car accident last week that totalled our car, she barely spoke a word of compassion or wanted to hear about it at all.

she has a sister and her sister has an ex hubby. she will sit there and talk about how when she was younger she would be so embarrassed bc her sis would talk about how big her boobs are to her hubby, and now this ex hubby has been hitting on her. but she was saying this in front of my husband! ugh *****!!!!!

so does anyone have any advice? i am getting pretty fed up. i don't want to lose a friend but i don't like spending time with people i don't like. i feel like if she had her own place she would have positive things to talk about once in a while and we could hang out during the day.