Civility or honesty, where is the line?

Bluntness isn't always completely honest. Because bluntness ignores the whole person and focuses solely on the one part of them that is lacking. Nobody (including you) is completely defined by their worst moment or their worst trait.

Which is why it is important for honesty to be accompanied by a truth that gives respect and even love for the whole person, including whether they are able to hear what you have to say at that particular moment.

Sometimes, as much as a person needs to change a trait or habit, telling them about it isn't going to work, and the better part of valor is to keep your mouth shut, and make your own decisions about how much time you want to spend with them, in light of the situation.

Bluntness, or as some people today call it "honesty", in which they use a person's faults first as a magnifying glass to expand that fault to encompass a much larger area of personality than is necessary, then turn it into a club to beat them to death with - that kind of bluntness - is overrated.

Kindness, which overlooks many faults unless advice is asked for, and which you have in this case, is highly underrated.

Empathy, which sees the whole person, the whole truth and the whole situation, is highly underused.

People today take a lot of pride in being "blunt". But really, it's not that great. Who couldn't use a fault overlooked. Who doesn't need a friend who loves them even though they, I don't know, wear mismatched socks?

Bluntness, is an enemy in friend's clothing.

Since you want to be honest, I will be blunt. If you lived for a month on the receiving end of everyone you knew being what you (wrongly) call being "honest", you would quickly change your tune and learn a lesson that you would never forget. We all have a brain; this to use to think before we speak. People who say they just blurt out before they think are using it as an excuse (this is called passive-aggressive behaviour).

Civility just means non-provocational and observing the most basic, commonly understood rudiments of behaviour and speech.

Never think for a moment people admire you for how much of your mind you open. Speaking one's mind is a luxury that nobody can afford, and has ruined many. Better to address this now tan ten years from now. Good luck.

There's a difference between being blunt and being politely honest. You can tell someone you don't like their shirt two different ways: 1) "Ew! Where'd you find that hideous thing? In the dumpster?!" or 2) "You know, I don't think that shirt flatters you very well. Why don't you try this one instead?"

Utilize a 3 second rule. Take 3 seconds to think about what you're going to say before it comes spilling out of your mouth. Use this time to consider how you're going about saying things. Choose a more delicate way, and speak softer. It's not WHAT you say but HOW you say it.

Oh I don't see it.