Smokers: If a stranger asks you for a light,?

Dear Frey,

Without a doubt. Man or woman. I would offer to light the cigarette for them. When doing this. I light the lighter first. Then allow the person needing the light move towards the flame. You should never push the fire towards them .Let them do it. It's the safest and most courteous way to handle this. I would do this for females as well. They have a look of surprise on their faces. But, I tell you what. They love that split second of attention given to them that they think only a man would give them. I can honestly say. I have never ever lost a lighter. This is a 100 percent fool proof way to keep yours as well.

Sincerely,

Marseille

It depends on where I am.

If I am in the smoking area outside the bank where I work, or if I am on the outdoor terrace of a restaurant where smoking is allowed (a familiar and hopefully secure public setting), I'll light the stranger's cigarette. Excellent way to get acquainted with other smokers! But even then, I hold the lighter at arm's length.

But if I am in a strange public setting, on the sidewalk, or between a building and my car, I use the excuse that my lighter is almost empty. It's like being asked what time it is, or if I have some change that I can spare. While my attention is inside my purse, I can be assaulted from behind. A situational awareness thing.

You might try keeping your lighter in your open pack. Once 5 or so cigarettes are gone, there's enough space to keep it. I absolutely HATE having to look for a lighter when I need a cigarette. And my purse is a disaster!

Maybe some of the people that lean in do it so their lighters don't get stolen, but I think a lot of them do it out of respect or to be nice rather than a selfish reason such as that.

I think it's kind of a smoker's way of holding open a door for somebody.

I'm not a smoker, but I too have noticed this happen and pondered the reasoning behind it.

Well, this is going to sound kind of sexist of me. . .

As a woman, I'd hand the lighter over. I dunno, I guess lighting a smoke for a lady seems a touch chivalrous, and handing her a lighter a bit aloof.

Also, for me, placing your hand that close to someone's mouth seems a bit. . . intimate? I know it really isn't, but it feels awkward to me with a stranger. The few times I have been asked, I just casually put my hand out for my lighter afterwards, and have always gotten it back.

Were I a guy - I'm thinking if it were a woman, I'd do it for her. A guy, I'd fork it over. As it is, I just hand it over for everyone. Lighters aren't too expensive, and odds are I've inadvertantly taken someone else's at some point. Shrug. I'm a bit old-fashioned, I guess. :)

Where I live people around always ask random people on the street if they have an "extra smoke", so I have no clue if it's inappropriate or not. I don't get going up to someone and trying to bum a cigarette off them when you don't even know them. Like are you that desperate for a cigarette? But yep, I see it happen all the time. when it happens to me I just say I don't smoke. The lighter thing, I think it would only be appropriate to ask someone if you saw them smoking already, cuz then you could assume that they do have one. but i dunno...

I have done both, most usually I would just hand the person my lighter. I have been in the middle of Philadelphia(were I am from) and given someone my lighter and it has always been returned. As far as mannerisms, I am not sure which one would be most correct. I know that if I am asking for a lighter I would rather light it myself.

Because I don't like misplacing my lighter I keep matches on hand and give them a pack.

If it's a guy I'll hand him the lighter or the matches; a gal - I'll cup my hands.

I haven't smoked for years now and I miss tobacco but it was killing me. Eventually!

⫸

I always hand over my lighter as I look for matches to give them.

My husband will always light their cigarettes if he's carrying his "good" (expensive) lighter.

I'd do the same if you ask for a light. Instinct perhaps?