Self Esteem problems...Please help!?

Question

My whole Life I've been negative and I've always wanted to please other people. It's apart of me because I've done this my WHOLE life (even when I was a little kid). When I was little I'd always call myself ugly and I always thought I didn't deserve to be happy and stuff. 
     Anyways, it's becoming a real problem for me, and people think I'm too nice and other stuff. I mean I want to be nice but I have a hard time saying "no" to people. It's because I want to please people and I'm afraid if I say no they'll be sad or angry at me. I'm also shy and I hate dragging attention to myself. I hate speaking to new people besides my friends. 
  A lot of people know I’m a bit weaker and they tend to point out my flaws. They sometimes make fun of my fair, face, clothes, shoes, etc. 
   Plus I'm scared to make a single mistake. I think back to all the times I made a mistake and they all come back to me and it basically gets me really depressed...

Is there anyway I can easily overcome this? Please help :(

? · Accepted Answer

you cant let other people control you. If someones asks to jump of a bridge with u will u say yes to that too? i doubt it. u need to make logical decisions that will benefit you since your friends wont b there after a couple of years because people move on and forget. 

Watch the movie yes man maybe that will help you or look at the trailer.

Anonymous · Answer

well...i have several friends that go through what your are going through but what i want to tell you is wat i always tell my friends
you r you....and theres no way you're gonna change that. and the point is that everyone created different (i noe you probably heard this before) and thats the reality of it.....all you can do is accept what you have and what you r and make the best of it.....
trust me when you learn to embrace who you r, you not only gain confidence, you feel 100000% more better
you said that you call your self ugly....if you think thats something you dont like about yourself, then you simplying have to do something about it....either hang out with friends that support your thoughts or hanging out people who go through similar things as you can also help becuz u can always talk to them
also everyone has flaws.....NO ONE is perfect so you cant expect yourself to be either....all you can do work ur best at reducing those flaws....
and finnaly since wen is being nice a bad thing? it is a very good thing....that means people will like you....but be careful not to let ppl trample all over you.....so be nice but assertive wen you need

Fuggi181 · Answer

well i say you should put or try putting yourself first and doing things that make you happy. if you say "no" people will accept it and they might think less of you or not, depends on the situation but you should always ask yourself if its gonna help you or not. no matter what you do people will might not always like you no matter what the reason is. its impossible to please everyone so at least please yourself. and making mistakes is part of life they might break you but you should always learn from your and other peoples mistakes. and Always stay positive and build your confidence by fixing youre appearance or having positive thoughts about yourself this could help you be able to socialize with new people, but always be yourself.

Anonymous · Answer

ok first of all watever you think you are thats what other people will think of you & since they know you let people get to you they use you as your weakness.. so if you all of a sudden say " you know what idagf'!" psshh' then neither will they they'll be like "oh look at her hair" & den other poerson replies " umm she always has it like that but she a crazy chick .. so why would she care?" :).. just dont care & you have to say no to people becuase they'll treat you like a pet..

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Self Esteem problems...Please help!?

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