He didn't call me. Was I too harsh?

Question

My ex boyfriend of 9 yrs was a really great guy. He was loving, sweet and kind but the problem is he "wasn't a phone guy." I called him often. He didn't call me often or even send me a text to tell me that he was thinking of me. I respect a working man but was it selfish to want him to call me once a week or maybe twice a week? Was it selfish to want to see him more than one day a week?

 Supposedly, Tuesday was his only day off. I asked him if he was free one night on a Saturday, the following Tuesday I got no call, no text, no him, no nothing. I tried to call and text him to see what had happened.I called his cell and his house phone. Then Friday and I finally gave up and broke up with him in a text. I no that was cruel but he's stood me up quite alot before. If he had answered his phone we could have worked it out. Now only a month later he has a new woman. he spends more time with her than he ever did with me.

Was I too harsh?

Lisa · Accepted Answer

Honestly, I doubt it had anything to do with you. It sounds possible that he already had this new woman before the two of you were broken up. Nine years is a long time to spend with someone and not be married or living together, and it sounds like the relationship had simply run its course. He apparently just wasn't that into you anymore. Ignoring someone is never a positive sign...basically he gave you no choice but to break up with him. To be honest, in your shoes I would consider that HE broke up with ME...ignoring someone for days at a time is vanishing on someone. The fact that after you broke up with him he made no attempt to contact you or talk it over with you...after nine years...speaks for itself. He didn't care. And as for him spending more time with the new woman...operative word here, is NEW...exciting...pretty soon he'll be doing the same things to her that he did to you. Just move on to your own new man, so you can experience what it's like to have someone who at least replies to your darn texts.

Triple A · Answer

You weren't harsh enough, sounds to me the doosh didn't even deserve you, or even respected you enough to contact you! You seem like a good person but stop stressing yourself out, only good fortune awaits you. You did what you had to do, I'm sure you wouldn't want to continue with this rollercoster ride, it would have to end sooner or later! Just keep your head up, in the end everyone gets what's coming to them!

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He didn't call me. Was I too harsh?

2 Answers