Best 9mm for wife for self-defense...?

Your best bet is to let her handle as many guns as possible.

Every woman's/persons hands are different. What feels right to my wife might not feel right to yours.

I tried to make my wife comfortable with a Glock 19, (mostly because I had one) and she didn't like it.

Her favorite 9mm's are the S&W M&P compact. The Kahr K9 and the HK P30.

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Those are the ones that "fit" her best.

9mm is the caliber recommended to shooters as very effective with the least amount of recoil (for a full power cartridge)

S&W Sigmas are good for woman shooters with smaller hands. They also cost 300 bucks. Mine was 12 years old and had thousands of rounds through it when I sold it, and was still perfect. Stainless slide and magazines, too. Depending on her size, 9mm might be a little much if she's under duress during a home invasion though. I've become a firm believer in the Taurus Judge for home defense. With birdshot, it puts out about a 5 foot pattern at 20 feet (have any rooms bigger than that?), and can be loaded with any number of ammo from 2.5" bird shot to buck shot to the new hot .45Colt home defense rounds, plus you don't have to remember anything on a revolver. Pick it up, pull the trigger until it stops going bang. Well under $500 also.

You are trying to base your decisions on assumptions. From what I can tell from your statements, you have not taken her out to the range and let her shoot the .45. Don't "think", find out and be certain - it could mean her life.

Go to a range and let her shoot your .45 and/or let her try out some of the guns for rent at the shooting range. Then shop around for the gun that she is comfortable with or if she likes the .45 then your problem is half solved. To fully solve the problem, you need to take her out to the range very week until she gets to the point where she can put every round into the target silhouette.

As for guns under $500, I know money is tight in this economy but you need to ask yourself if saving whatever amount of money is worth the life and safety of your wife. If the gun misfired, jammed, etc. and something happened to your wife, would the thought of the money you saved from NOT buying a quality gun give you comfort? I'm not saying to spend $1,000, but the higher quality pistols are going to run you at least $600.

A revolver is the best choice for simple and reliable. One of many makes and models in .357 Magnum is an excellent choice. Buying one chambered for only .38 special isn't a bad thing, it just limits your options to the bottom and middle of the power scale. Buy one of the medium or med-large frame models with a barrel of 4 inches and you're set. If you aren't going to be carrying it concealed the 5 or 6 inch barrels are good too. Avoid the tiny 2inch barreled 5-shooters for a first gun or any house gun as they require quite a bit more practice to become good with. I agree with the others who say to avoid the pawn shops as it's rare to find one that charges a fair price for a used gun. check out the local guns shops and if there is a range around talk to the folks there. While you're there see if they have a for sale/wanted board. A used revolver in good condition can often be had for under $300. A new one seems to run in the $4-500 range for most makes.

A 9mm does have significantly less recoil than a .45. In an emergincy situation with a lot of adreniline, your wife is not going to be a good shot. Being able to take a second shot quickly might be more important than the extra power. Get a full size 9mm as a full size gun is easier to handle and has less felt recoil. At that price range I would look for a fairly new (but used) Glock or Sig.

Let her try the .45 It is a matter of learning how to shoot than anything.

I had a 9mm mod 92 and it was just as snappy as my H&K in .45 Just because of the gun design.

Otherwise, look at a browning BDA .380. I have one that everyone that handles it immediately loves it. http://www.gunbroker.com/Auction/ViewItem.aspx?Ite...

Years ago, My 14 y/o daughter was shooting full powered .44 mag rounds.

Quit thinking; my rather petite little sister has used a 45 auto for some 50 years with no problems. She would sneer at a 9mm; but she is from Montana.

well has ur wife SHOT ur .45???? if ur answer is NO...then that SHOULD be the first step....NO sense in going out and buying another firearm if ur wife can and is willing to shoot what u already have....

**SCRATCH that....ANY excuse to get a new firearm with wife's approval is good.......>.<

but seriously if she can and will shoot the .45 get another .45...........and would STRONGLY suggest a range trip with as many different caliber and size handguns as u can beg/borrow/rent....to see not only what she can and cannot handle but which she shoots best...and not only handguns would include rifles and shotguns...

You honestly should take her out to the range with you and see what she shoots/handles well.

I find that .45 and 9mm are pretty controllable in comparison to some others.

I think though if I had to just suggest something, look at the Kahr PM9.

My wife is a big fan of the baby eagle 9mm from magnum research. It is heavy enough to control recoil and is easy to shoot. It is just over $500.