proofread and correct please!?

Hi

That was basically well written. I've made a few fairly minor changes. You should make sure that you're happy with what I've written by reading it through a couple of times before submitting it.

I have had many people tell me that I should give you a “slice” of my life to separate me from other candidates who are doing the same, so here goes. My name is Caleb Acosta, I am seventeen years old, and I love Jesus Christ with all my heart. I was born in Santa Maria California along with my twin sister and lived there till I was four years old.

My mom then entered into partial ownership of a mobile rock crushing plant with my uncle Robby. As the company’s name implies, this involved a lot of moving. For seven years we moved from place to place crushing rock with my uncle. In this period we moved a total of 24 times, all throughout California; places like Snelling, Vernalais, Truckee, and even to Carson City, Nevada. Many times we lived on site at the different rock crushing plants. For this reason, our family bought a travelling trailer to better enable us to move to these unique places.

Life in a travelling trailer, out in the middle of nowhere, not a mile from a rock crushing plant was harsh. Every time we moved my sister and I would go look for things to do. Our favorite activity was catching lizards and frogs, as we both always loved animals.

During this time we learned school at home. Since we moved so much, my mom put me and my twin sister through an accelerated Christian home school program called A Beka academy. We always paid close attention to our schooling, as reflected in our advanced grades, because we had very little to do.

My mom and uncle finally sold the rock crushing plant and we settled down in Paloma California, I guess we just couldn’t get away from the ‘off the wall’ places. This was in 2005, just in time for junior high. We decided to stay in the home school program because we had so easily adapted to it.

As we were home schooled, we had a lot of spare time, which we used to do many other things in our community. I trained in an ancient martial art for five years, and even taught it for three. Those five years taught me a great deal of responsibility and persistence. I have counselled at two church camps, the first of which you already know of. I am a leader at my youth group, as well as a ‘leader in training’ at another as well.

In our community I am known for being incredibly intelligent (when writing a biographical essay you should be allowed to brag a bit I think). I love science and mathematics especially, though I regret not paying as much attention to English as I could have. However I have been studying English vigorously this year. Now that my sister and I are seniors in high school we are looking to further our education. My love for science and mathematics has bloomed into a deep yearning to study engineering. I toured the campus at Pacific and I was enthralled by the campus and faculty. I loved everything about the tour.

I know that this essay has been a bit informal, but I tried to put my personality on the page. I am sure that there are many other students out there who have submitted their life story; but I assure you, if you give me an education at this school, your gift will not be squandered.