I am loosing hope in our Marriage. What Can I do?

Question

I used to think we had a great life but things are getting unbearable. My wife is never happy, she looks for excuses to be upset.  Her arguements are I have no friends, I dont have clothes I want. She goes out with church groups but she says they ignore her  Life is tough but she makes a tough life depressing.  She dosen't do any thing but work and read.  So she is gaining weight.  I have tried to work our with her but she refuses and makes me feel like a jerk about it.  She says she is happy with the way she looks and complains about non of her clothes fitting.  She has no goals no drive and no ambition.  I work 50-60 hours a week and am a Full time student.  We have been married for 7 years I thought we were doing good but to talk to her you would think we were never going to make it.

We have not been able to get pregnant and we cannot afford fertility or adobtion and I feel she is recenting me for not making enough money.  We have a house in a good neighbor hood 2 working cars paid for and we both have jobs.  I am trying to make our situation better by trying to make money online and finishing my me degree to get a better job but I feel like I am the only one trying.

I love life and rufuse to let the problems get me down that has always been my way.  I thought if I kept it up she would join me but it hasn't worked.  Life is good I wish she could see that even when things are not perfect or else you will never be happy because things are never perfect. 

Any suggestion.

fffrrreeeddd · Answer

sounds like the 7-year itch (there was some movie in the 1950's dealing called this!).  Basically she will be irritable and pissed off at everything you do. The harder you try to be nice - the more she will resent you. She sees you as a pathetic loser the more you try - so don't try. 

There is a saying from a movie or play 'I love you. you're perfect. now change" - this explains how women find a guy they love then spend their time changing him to what they think he should be. Then they realize (this is your wife now) he is not what she is attracted to in the first place  GO back to your roots - who you were when you were dating.  You can only wait it out 1-2 years and hope she gets over it. It should pass in a year or two and many couple go thru this 7 year itch rough period. good luck!

Anonymous · Answer

Be upfront with her

She may be upset at you and herself for the fertility issues and is struggling with that

But things wont improve until you sit down and have an honest conversation about it. For all you know, she thinks YOU resent her and is simply living on the defensive.

Fertility issues, especially for women, can fast track into depression. I suggest maybe couples counseling, if the talking has no effect. That way you'll both have a  safe outlet for your feelings. Bottling it up can led to sniping and resentment

On a side note, have you considered becoming a foster parent? Its a great way to help needy children and often leads to adoption.

Shawn · Answer

She wants to turn into a lazy fat *** where you, Prince Charming, pays for all the bills.

Ultimately, she is the selfish self-entitled whore who wants to leech off you. I'd drop kick her and be single, she's wasting your time.

virgod · Answer

Thank dear Lord for "we have not been able to get pregnant", cut and run while you can, and please, please don't marry again until you can support your wife and children with reasonable ease.

Anonymous · Answer

now that sounds like marriage.......... welcome to the club buddy.... marriage sucks.......

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I am loosing hope in our Marriage. What Can I do?

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