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Parents I really need advice, help?

14y/o girl, 9th grade in high school. She has two younger siblings by her dad but he has been absent most if her life. She spent the summer with them but her dad has since said she shouldn't come back. That she shouldn't try out for sports at school, etc because she wasn't good at any thing. He is a jerk yes and for some reason is hurting her. He said she's ruined his life because he can't accord the court ordered child support. He's paid it maybe 3 times in 14 years. Hurting her hurts her mom I guess. Plus the normal teenage angst she is hurting. Kids at school are mean to each other plus she is smart and gets teased for that as well. I remember that age as being awful and I don't know how to help or what to say. Her teacher saw that she had marks on her arm today and called the counselor. It seems she went in the bathroom cut the skin with her scissors she uses for fashion class. They aren't deep but there are lots of cuts at least through the skin. She hates the thought of seeing a therapist but she has no choice at this point. Her mom has told her she cNt be alone at all, if she needs a razor she has to ask, same with scissors, etc . The child is throwing a crying fit, no one trust here, no one understands, yada yada. The drama only a teenager can bring. Any way, any advice would be appreciated greatly.

2 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 6
    10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    As a stormy-adolescence type myself: she needs some strong and positive adult mentors in her life.

    " I remember that age as being awful and I don't know how to help or what to say."

    Take her out for dinner -- take her out to do grown-uppy stuff -- listen. Talk to her about adult things. Talk to her about the future. Take the focus off now, don't sit there and talk to her about the current problems. Make it clear that the future is waiting and that it's better, and make it obvious (without saying anything at all about it) that her father is an aberration and that most adults are interested in her, care about her, aren't cruel screw-ups like Dad.

    If there's the option to stay with auntie or grandma or something to take a break from mom for a few weeks, that might be nice.

    _Be honest_; tell HER " I remember that age as being awful..."

  • ?
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    Well for quantity one sitting across the residence and usually doing not anything does not support you along with your melancholy. I am forty two years historical and I were running at my present task for six or 7 yrs. Last February I bought harm at paintings and had surgical procedure however I am not able to participate in all my task role to start with whilst I back to paintings I went by way of a few factor of melancholy however such as you ought to do some thing exclusive in existence so be capable to revel in existence extra and consider bigger approximately oneself. So I am watching in returning to tuition and attempting to determine what application I can appear into with my restrained situation. So you'll be able to go surfing fill out task resume cross out and practice for jobs. You are nonetheless younger ample you'll be able to appear in to the navy and if you're a tuition graduate that offers you extra advantage in becoming a member of the navy. If now not a tuition graduate than investigate out faculties or investigate out Americorp /Job corp, you'll be able to even investigate out peace corp. All of above is eligible for you now not me because of my age. But all of them can provide you possibilities to satisfy new folks . To develop yourself valued at and the major make you consider bigger,proud,excited approximately existence and so forth. So benefit from the travel and discovering your possess direction in existence and do not fear your moms and dads in poor health be pleased with you and they are going to support you as mach as they may be able to simply so long as you're now not sitting across the residence do not anything and letting your melancholy take over feeling unhappy and whining approximately your sucky existence. Because little one your existence do not suck you simply have not jumped into existence but to peer what it has to present and what you'll be able to do. So now cross and do some thing you are going to do fine and yeah it is going to be intricate from time to time . I feel in you ; you'll be able to do it.

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