I don't know what to do with my life.?

Hi sweetie. Depression is no joke. My mother had manic depression and this caused TERRIBLE consequences for her and I. I began to feel the hurdles of depression when I turned 18 and was still in high school. I would cry not because of physical pain or something that someone has just said to me, but because of a constant turmoil and emptiness inside of me that persists to this day. Even as I retain a job and feed myself and receive compliments on my performance at work, I might go home and cry and cry until a panic attack ensues because of general unhappiness and past loses. There is one answer to your situation and most people don't like to hear it but you absolutely need to get help. Talking to a friend and receiving a hug from your mother may help temporarily but ultimately you will have coping issues throughout life and you will be unable to commit yourself and complete your goals. You may experience loss and disappointment in yourself and this will only make your situation worse, more serious, and truly dangerous. Don't let it come to that point.

Think about the consequences and have humility. No one chooses to have depression and it is not your fault. Take advantage of the fact that you are in school and talk to your counselor. College is very demanding and stressful and they are trained to help you with just that. Tell them completely and honestly what you are feeling. Please swallow your pride and ask for help. This is a huge step in the right direction and no one who should matter to you will be disappointed or ashamed of you. It's your life and unless someone is around you enough to see destructive, apathetic behavior it is up to you to preserve it.

If, however, you are merely young and baffled (Between the ages of 14-22 I have changed my mind about my dream job countless times, back and fourth) and you have always been a sensitive cowardly person then you need to look at someone who is worse off than you and ask yourself if you want to live their life. I personally would love to trade your college career for my fast food job. If this is not the case I sincerely apologize for suggesting it. Depression is not just a health risk but can be nothing short of lethal. If you are extremely apathetic and you find yourself sleeping all day, avoiding social situations all or most of the time, committing self-destructive behavior such as poor eating habits leading to eating disorders, drug abuse, harming yourself, and putting yourself down all the time. I can honestly say that this is not common teen angst and you need professional help.

I can honestly say without exaggeration that I do not know you but we have something in common and I genuinely care about your health and well being. Do us both a favor and at bare minimum talk to your parents and school counselor with open honesty. Do not wait for your feelings to pass because no matter what happens in life you will feel the same until you receive medical care. You have my love and encouragement in whatever you do.

Try a whole bunch of different classes, see what makes you happy, and passionate. If you have passion for the career, success will follow