Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.
Trending News
My girlfriend was sexually abused once as a child. help?
Hello, I need some insight, heres a little back information towards my question....thanks
First of all, Ive been with my current girlfriend for quite a few months. I love her so much. Well earlier today,we were talking and she told that she had to tell me something.Then a moment later she told me she was sexually abused once as a child (6, shes 14 now), by her drunk father. Who i have an urge to find, and beat the **** out of him. I'm the only one besides a judge,her mom and a lawyer whom she told. Her closes friends or any of her exes. The Judge ended up sending the case away because since she was 6 she wasn't a good source or something. Her parents got divorced too.
I did my best at the moment to be supportive but was still shocked as I have never had such a serious relationship,and i've never been told something like this. I dont know whats happening. I want to go with my heart on this and want to help her because besides what has happened, i love her, she is my one. I dont want to lose her. Is there anything i can do to help her get these feelings of hatred towards her father out.I feel very sad i don't know what to do. I cant get any sleep because of nightmares. Please someone,i need advice. Again i love her, she is the perfect person but these feelings of dread are unbearable.
I also feel a constant need to know if shes okay. I worry about her a lot now. She says she feels safe when she is with me. I understand that being i come from a line of security guards and i know CQC, Karate, Tae Kwan Do and a few other things. But this is tearing me apart. I have nightmares. Ive woke up screaming and crying. I havent cried in years. We're both 14 but we've even considered our future. That doesnt matter right now. but i just... idk theres something wrong with me.
I don't believe god can fix everything, so please don't say leave it to god. I honestly need help. What do i do about my emotional problems
In the question it sais her hatred towards the father, it's suposed to say my hatred towards him.
We've both agreed we're to young for any sexual contact. None of that will happen till we're married (if it happens)
4 Answers
- 10 years agoFavorite Answer
Ouch that's rough. Truth is, those feelings are never going to go away. That is something that will stick with you for life. But it doesn't have to ruin the rest of it. Remind her that its in the past and that your there for her, keep her always moving forward. If she needs some one else to talk to, her mom could find her a thereapy group to go to or something so that she can talk about it with other people who have gone through the same thing. It always helps to know your not the only one.
- Anonymous10 years ago
Well you are not responsible for "fixing" or curing this problem. You are a great boyfriend to want to help though. Being molested is something that happened to her, she will always remember it. But if she has not had therapy, or needs more therapy maybe that is possible. Not all professionals charge full rate if the person does not have insurance and cannot afford it if that is an issue.
Also just to let you know, if you are also young like her (which I hope you are if you are dating a 14 year old) then she might not be "the one". It's rare but it does happen.
You can be there for her to talk and you can be sensitive with her when it comes to physical affection (she is too young for sex) if it bothers her.
Hopefully other people will comment with other ways you can be supportive!
- 10 years ago
Because she was 6, and there was no physical proof is why it was thrown out.
Be there for her when she needs you, and also know you never truly heal 100% when something like that happens. If she is still hurt, she may need some counselingng. I know there are plenty of free resources for it. There is a syndrome called PTSD, more or less it is something that has happened in the past, that keeps going over and over in your mind. It is a disorder that may require some medication.
Remind her she is not alone.
- Anonymous10 years ago
Don't live for the past. Just go to church regularly and leave it all to God.
