i absolutely hate my best friends boyfriend!?

Question

okay this is going to be long and I really need some advice I am going to try to make it shortest and easier to read I can....

-My best friend and I have been best friends since 5th grade we are seniors now.  We have never actually fought like ever, we always are there for each other and never stopped being friends, were actually more like sisters.
-This summer she started hanging out with this guy named bob(changed name, obv) and when she first stated telling me about him I didn't like him but I figured I would give him a shot to prove me wrong, but he hasn't at all.  I hate him so much I don't even know what to do this might ruin our friendship. 
1. hes a player; he has done 25+ girls (ew) he dated a girl for 5 years and they cheated on each other for the whole time of their relationship.  When she went to a different state this summer to see her sister he cheated on her and finally told her just now, and she forgave him..  He has problems he still talks to his ex of 5 years secretly.  Even though that bugs her he tries to hide it from her but sometimes forgets to delete a text, call or Facebook message from her.  
2. Jealousy problems; he made her delete a bunch of guys off Facebook and make her text them mean things so they didn't talk to her anymore.  she had to delete her ex that she dated for 2 years so she told him he had to delete his of 5 years but recently the guy that she dated for 2 years killed himself(not because of anything to do w her) he added his ex of 5 years and told my best friend that they need to be friends because her ex made her realize you can't just not talk to someone.  So its okay for him to talk to who ever he wants whenever he wants but not for her to.
3. secludes her; she lives with him so she never really gets to see her friends, i barely see her anymore.  She wanted to spend the night at her moms and he didn't want her to.  But if she does spend the night somewhere else he does something stupid like calls his ex because he's mad at my best friend its just so stupid like if she doesn't do something he wants her to he gets revenge on her.
4; this isn't everything but this is what finally pushed me over the edge; every year we go to new hampshire for black friday get up early; shop all*** day long and spend the night in a hotel, we have done this since ilk 7th grade its always been our couple days together we look forward to.  Well this year the other day this boyfriend of hers came along because he's so stupid! first of all he made us late we wanted to leave at 3 we didn't leave til almost 4 because he's a dumb pretty boy; he was all pissy all day, we didn't even get to spend time with out him, if he was left alone he'd get mad.  we barley shopped because of him so we just went back to the hotel with everyone (her family goes too) and went out to dinner, after dinner we went back to the hotel and went in the hot tub and pool and I got so annoyed with them I just went back to the room really early and took benydrill so I feel right asleep so I didn't have to deal with them.  & while I was in the room he said something like wow i feel like I'm ruining girl time and her brother was like ya think!! hahah wow idk it was just awful 2 days i was looking forward to it forever until that morning when he came when i got there i just was counting down til we went home!  

she knows I hate him absolutely hate him, he knows i don't like him he could tell those 2 days....I don't get what will make her realize he's no good for her, she says she shouldn't be with him all the time what will finally make her be really don't with him?!  She's on a roller coaster with him its really good part of the day then completely awful the good again.  i want him gone what can I do ?!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's obvious this guy is a complete douche. First of all, you need to tell your friend EVERYTHING. All the feelings you have about him, how he is separating you and your friend and all the bad things you know about him, hopefully, this will show her how much this is hurting you. Also, ask her why she is with him! If he is taking her from her own family then you need to say that family come before anything. If that still doesn't work maybe actually talk to her family about it. If it is causing havoc in her family ask if her mum can try and persuade to either break up with him, or at least lay down some ground rules about their relationship. If they are STILL together and making everyone sad/annoyed maybe as a last resort, tell your friends father about all the bad stuff this guy is. Fathers are generally very protective of their daughters and he of all people should be able to talk some sense in to her or give 'Bob' a stern talking to about how he is treating your friend.
I hope this helped in some way :)

Danielle · Answer

the only way i can think of to help you is a way that you won't like. but i've been in a situation like this before and this is what helped me when it happened. you have to tell your friend that you do care about her, but because of this guy, you don't feel like you can be friends with her because he is pulling her away from you. you should also let her know that you don't think it's fair for her to not be able to do certain things while he gets to do whatever he wants. now the hardest part is telling her you can't stay friends with someone who is letting this happen, which seems to be true with you. but you HAVE to let her know that when she is willing to end that relationship and needs a friend to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, etc, you will always be there for her.

like i said, this probably isn't a solution that sounds fun or easy, but it is do-able and even if your friendship ends completely, i promise you will feel better because you won't feel the stress and anger from it

? · Answer

If she hasn't realized by now he's no good for her she will realize it later she might actually have something to learn from him ( to prepare her for the next guy) and she defintaly has something to teach him leave them alone shell figure it out it will just look like your invading her space u have to show u support her decision even if its not for the best

? · Answer

I think that you feel a little threatened, fearful that he might take your friend away? But you should not make your friend choose between you & the boyfriend. If he is as bad as you say, she will figure it out pretty quick. Be a real friend, & get your ego out of the way. Be supportive of your friend, regardless of how her relationship with him goes.

omar · Answer

first things first its not about you ,it shouldnt be about you , its obvious that you hate him out of pure jealousy for taking your best friend away and i can tell that he is an *** who would leave your friend in a heartbeat for his ex among other things but how about you try talking to your friend and tell her how having him around her affects HER in a negative way ( not how much you hate him) 
if he is an *** and needs to go find a way , she has been your best friend all this time for a reason reach out to her.

if you cant do that just try proving that he is still sleeping with his ex

? · Answer

i know exactly what your talking about. but if she is happy with him let her find out hes a jerk on her own time. if he isnt right for her than tiime will deffinently tell. i know it hurts, but just... give her smace and tell her that if he is going to be around than you cant be around her for your own good. maybe she will relize hes loseing a good friend over a stupid boy. it sucks, but we are just thee outsiders looking in and we, unfortunatly, cant decide for the people we love even if we see the imperfections... hope i helped :j

fitwill · Answer

He's a very controlling jerk is what he is.  It's really out of your hands.  It will be up to her to make the decision to leave this scumbag.

? · Answer

First: I didn't read all that stuff up there. 
If your bestfriend likes him so much let her go her way.

Leinad · Answer

you need to stop being a cock blocker / hater.

? · Answer

Im not reading all that (:

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i absolutely hate my best friends boyfriend!?

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