Am I a good writer from 1-10?

I'd give you a seven. Your writing is definitively not terrible! It's good, but the only problem is that it's a little tight. It doesn't seem real. Try making it sound like YOU are telling it. For example;

Oh man! I was going to be late! Why did I hit that snooze button a third time? Oh, my bad. I didn't introduce myself. Well I'm Drake Johnson. Nice to meet you. I go to St. Helldom - which isn't as bad as it sounds - and.....

Also you have ALOT of detail. Now detail is OKAY. But details are usually used in things like fight sences, kisses, ect. Try inroducing what your character looks like LATER ON in the story. Example;

I ran my fingers through my buzz-cut. I t was something I did when I was nervous.

I'm confused with how you want me to rate you.

I mean, are we doing a ranking compared to the pros? (e.g. Steinbeck, Faulkner, Vonnegut, etc. make 10 while average authors blanket the 5 - 9 range.) In this case I'd rank you a 1. Hey, don't be offended. You're going head to head with "Of Mice and Men" and "Crime and Punishment".

Are we doing ranking compared to the average writer (NOT author. Writer.)? To be honest, I'd still give you a 1. Not trying to be mean, but there's some stuff you could learn.

Etc.

I'm not sure about your ranking system, but here's some personal tips. Your intro is good, but it's too... I don't know... middle school? If that's what you're writing for, good on ya. But if you're writing to write and become better at it, try another style.

Here's a way to look at it. I like to compare books that are currently big (think Twilight, Harry Potter, Life of Pi, etc.) and classics (stuff like Grapes of Wrath, The Idiot, Cat's Cradle, etc.). Mainly because the latter has proven itself, it's shown that it's not just some flavor of the month that will have a popularity that eventually dies. And, honestly, your opening reminds me of Twilight's. Not to be mean, not to make a crack at Stephanie Meyer, but honestly compare them. Go to Google, type in Twilight, click books, and read the first few pages. They're not identical but they strike the same chord.

Try taking your writing to an extreme. Go realistic and leave behind the whole 'My name is... I do this.... I go to...". That only bogs down your writing and makes it look like an essay. Or go fantastic and create a whole new environment. Be witty and clever, introduce things in new ways.

I guess, what I'm trying to say, is don't be so upfront with information. "Hi. My name is Bob. I'm an __ year old man. I can do ___ and ____. I'm the obvious hero because of ____. etc.".

Cheers.

Good spelling, but your mechanics need work. Use paragraphs and vary your sentence structure - almost every sentence begins the same: "I [verb]...".

"I made it... I put on... I loved... I do..."

You also switch tenses from past to present: "While I'm running..."

Work on your punctuation, paragraphs, and transitions. This wall of text turns people away from reading it, especially since it's made of disconnected ideas that bounce in all directions. Transitions and paragraphs will help you guide your reader from one point to the next.

It may help to read your writing out loud - a comma is a pause and a period is a full stop. You'll find it much easier to catch awkward writing by speaking it out loud - it will sound slightly off.

5, you need to improve... I think using paragraphs would make it better

Edit: Also, I have no idea how to explain this, but you make it sound like a movie. Like the main character is running and then he suddenly pops up and talks about himself. Then it shifts back to reality. That's really bad. Also you shouldn't really start at the running. Start at the first period. And like someone else said, include dialogue, it makes the story WAY more interesting, contrary to what anyone else might say.

More like a 4 .I agree with Darky that you need to put in paragraphs. Also this excerpt is very descriptive but it does not attract the attention and curiosity of the reader which is very important. Also it is all narrative, try to add some dialogue sometimes. The lack of it contributes in making it boring.And make your character more deep and with with some flaws.

4. First, you need to use multiple paragraphs, not one huge paragraph. Second, I see a few mistakes. Always proof-read anything you're writing three times. And third, try using a more advanced vocabulary. Except for that it's good.

Paragraphs. Punctuation. Syntax. Use them.