Where do I draw the line? ?

Question

My girlfriend of over 2 years is going through a lot of family drama, and it's spilling into our relationship. All she does is complain about her sister and parents every day. Same complaints, nothing new. To top that off, she was recently diagnosed with endometriosis. She received a prescription for tramadol. She has since learned of is psychological effects and I fear she is becoming dependant. This has all been going on about a year now. We don't talk about anything but her family drama. I'm currently in paramedic school, and work 48 hours a week, so I need someone to talk to and get things off my chest. I can't do it with her anymore, so all this stress is building up and making my work performance go down. Where do I draw the line and tell her I can't put up with all this drama anymore? What would you do in my situation?

Update:

I know it's not a narcotic, but she runs right to the pills in order to feel better. It's very concerning, because she's bright and motivated. I don't want her to lose control because of the pills, and/or moving on to stronger meds like vicodin or oxycodone, etc. I love her and plan on marrying her, but right now it's just so much to deal with. Something needs to change, I'm just afraid of her thinking I don't care about her happiness.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

if you can't be in a caring and loving relationship ? leave her

a relationship is a two way street

sometimes you give more then you receive

that happens

that is life

see the link below

peace

Stacey L · Answer

Tramadol is not a narcotic. It doesn't work much better than tylenol to be quite honest. Don't tell her that though, the best part of tramadol is the placebo effect.
As far as the drama, if you love her, but she is driving you nuts (it happens) then get her laughing. Take her to or rent as many funny movies as you can. Tell her funny stories. Get her to hanging out with fun people, doing fun things. It sounds as if all she has to focus on is the family and they are driving her nuts. Be honest and let her know that you understand they are driving her nuts, but now she is driving you nuts (Sh*t sure does roll downhill, doesn't it?) If she is insistent on being miserable, advise her to talk to her doc about adding an anti-depressant to her tramadol. 
And take some YOU breaks. Go out with the guys, you're working very hard and need to do some things for yourself. 
If you need to end it, do it gently, but be firm.

? · Answer

It's tough. On the one hand you should be supportive of her regarding her family and health challenges and on the other hand you're feeling like your relationship has been reduced to this supportive role without any of your needs being met. 
What to do?
I suggest that you write her an email explaining exactly what you're feeling and simply communicate that you feel like your needs are being ignored and smothered by the current drama. Ask her if she's happy with the way things are and how you can make things better together.
This may get her thinking about what your relationship has come to and cause her to try and find a way to make things different. If this doesn't work or she minimizes what you're trying to communicate you may want to think about moving on or broadening your horizons, if you get my drift. In my experience whiners who focus only on their own lives and needs generally get worse, not better as a relationship matures and will leave you feeling unfulfilled, frustrated and obligated.

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Where do I draw the line? ?

3 Answers