Help me Please! I seriously hate men/guys!?

I think you have a SERIOUS problem that you need to get some help for.

Your father's actions towards your mother and your mother's constant rants have influenced your thinking.. Which, noone can neccessarily blame you for feeling this way..but you must realize that not all men are this way.. I swear.

Let me tell you something that I don't talk about much.. I think you need this..

My dad did the same thing. Him and my mother were married 25 years and I have 2 brothers. My father cheated on my mom for YEARS, with more than one girl.. And one of those girls, he is with right now and has decided to marry.. YEA. My dad and I NEVER got along..ever. He never thought I could amount to anything in life.. he was verbally abusive and sometimes physically, IMO. He still can be at times.

My first REAL relationship.. Went great for about a year and a half.. then decided I wasnt good enough for him. The second relationship I had -- we were together for 2 years. He was a liar, cheater, verbally abusive and an all around asshole. The next relationship after that -- A compulsive liar. Verbally abusive, and getting to the point of physically abusive. There were holes in the wall of our house. He cheated on me numerous times, including the nigh he PROPOSED. Yea, we were engaged.. Shows how much he cared. He was a theif and I repeatedly bailed him out of jail. He is currently with one of the girls he cheated on me with...

I had just about given up, as anyone would.. So I understand your great dislike. BUT, then I met someone.. The man I am with now.. The only thing I can say, is that I am GLAD I did not develop the hate that you have now.. Or I would have never given him the chance. This guy is everything I ever thought a man should be. We have much in common, and we get along wonderfully all the time and we spend most of out time together doing whatever comes to mind. We are never bored when we are together and whatever we do, we have fun doing it. We can make the best time about anything and laugh at everything. He is very polite, and would never put me down. He makes me feel very lucky to have held on a little longer. There is a perfect balance between us, and there are never any awekward moments. We are compeltely comfortable and.... I love him. I can feel it and it feels REAL.

THAT, is what happens when you find the right guy, provided you give them the chance. You must get these thoughts out of your head. You will never find that person if you don't open yourself up. NO, it is not fun getting hurt or having your heart broken.. but hey, it is going to happen regardless. Its how we learn and how we move forward. Your going to miss out sweetie. Quite letting your mother brainwash you with these lies. ALL MEN ARE NOT LIKE THIS. There are actually some pretty amazing ones out there, like mine.

I wish you the best of luck. But you have shut yourself off from reality and the world. Your going to live a miserable life if you don't start thinking for yourself.

You need help my dear, and now.

First of all, you're not crazy.

Obviously, you're mother has never had a man treat her right and your father broke her heart when he cheated on her. She is in denial and depressed ( I get like that, I say the worst about a situation so I won't be dissapointed) honestly, this doesn't work. Anyway, since you've seen your mother so hurt, and she's been spewing her mouth around you about men for so long, it's become your feelings, and not just hers. Since you've never had a good experience with men, you think there can't be a good experience at all. For some reason the men who have hurt you and you think you should hate, typically are the men you tend to stick to the closest. 1.) It's all you've ever known. 2.) This is your life, and your home, home is how you end up, not where you grow up.

I would suggest therapy, just to help with the severe amount of anger that you have. But you aren't crazy.

There's something else you can do as well. Read God's instruction manual on Life-The Bible. It's worth a shot.

well for starters you already kinda answered your own question as to why you feel this way toward men/guys, your mother has permanently etched an image of men onto your brain with all the things she inappropriately says to you.

no one on here can tell you when to start trusting men again but i will tell you one thing,

if all the men on this earth were such dirt bags no one would be happy the world would be a horrible place.

you love your father unconditionally because he's your dad the things he did were not to you they were to your mom, well not the beatings, that is something you might want to see a therapist for. your dad seems to have a few problems of his own and i'm sorry that your parents are putting the weight of their issues on your shoulders.

When your older and ready one day you will meet a guy,

you should use your knowledge of what types of guys are bad news by seeing how your dad is, just stay away from guys that are like him. find a guy thats the complete opposite.

your only 14 it's not such a bad thing to not like guys right now, just stop listening to your mom, she's verbally abusing you and possibly hurting your future happiness.

try to turn around your outlook on men by reading True Stories online about love and loyal men

Please seek help if your dad is still physically abusing you.

Also try the website -Love panky .com- read under sweet love and how to build trust in relationships

Something to think about. MEN AND WOMEN ARE THE SAME. Girls do the SAME THINGS. They go and sleeping around with guys, use them, get all the gifts, then dump 'em. Try to think about the good and not the bad. Are all men REALLY the same? Or is your mom to angry to actually do the right thing? My mother taught me that you don't need a man in your life, not that all men are bad!

When you hang out with your friends, do their dads seem bad to you? What about Uncles? Cousins? Men are not that bad! There are bad men in this world! Just like there are bad women, children, dogs, cats, hamsters, anything!

Why do you hate men? Because your main role model, your mom, hates men. What you need to understand is that you are not a carbon copy of your mom. Let go. Talk to someone. You are not crazy! You have had problems. Don't worry. :)

Why do you still love your dad? Because he is your dad! No matter how much he treats you like crap, he loves you.

You might want to consider therapy. Look into it, the only thing it can hurt is your budget.

Good luck, I'll pray for you. :)

Well, as you said, the reason you hate males is most likely your experience. What you need to know, is that not everyone are the same, the fact that one man did something wrong does not mean everyone will do the same. The best thing you can do is probably to talk with someone. You should talk to someone you trust, and preferably someone you know will not tell others. Due to the fact that I don't know you, I can't give you many more "tips". As you mentioned, talking to a therapist might be the best choice. Telling someone else how you feel about things like these is a lot easier than just trying to forget about it.

So good luck with whatever you choose to do next.

Seriously...

don't post questions unless you're willing to understand.

I can sit here and tell you not all men are the same, and i'm not like that, and you'll sit there and say they are, and no matter what i say, you wont accept the truth that they aren't.

So if you really hate men all that bad, don't post a question about it, because there are tons of forums out there for venting.

If you're ready to actually listen, and accept that just because you're dad done you wrong doesn't mean all guys are like him then come back and post on help for you not to be so mad. Because truth is, this originated from your dad, and ever since you think so bad about guys.

Maybe you should talk to a counselor to vent too. Because if this is how you're going to live your life, guess you're going to be missing out on a lot. Have fun going to prom with girls instead of having a nice guy take you...

It happens to the best of us. Now that they have been doing it always (male animal procreation) the women will cheat to to get even. After all men will try to get them to won't they. It takes a real man to have loyalties & respect,esp to their wives & children. When they do this they don't even realize they also cheat on their whole family. They all feel the pain of this! There's always two sides to this & perhaps he wasn't feeling like he wanted to at home.

We are not hearing both sides. People change it's stages of ages & they go through changes,it's not that men are bad,women are too. It's the person, not what sex they are.

Did you know we aren't our sex,labels,anger etc..? Did you also know that males were females in the womb? It's true,we are here in this world to create & experience & we are here 365 days in a yr...12 months in that...48 weeks in the 12 months-

7 days in that week...24 hours in that day..12 hours 1/2 that of day and 60 minute in the hour; down to seconds now. Don't you think we are going to do some things to hurt another? Not really meaning to but we do & you will too. Then wouldn't you want to be forgiven?

So does he, esp if he's trying. Give him a break & Mom needs to grow up! She's hurt & now she's poisoning your mind w/her pain. Tell her to get serious help & your tired & to young to be having to carry a problem she has, that you didn't create. Be nice about & if it helps show her this. I broke it down for you.

This will all pass,but she can not keep putting the load on a child who hasn't even experienced her/his life as an adult yet. Go within your soul for the answers you need,it's the thread that guides you to the path of happiness. Trust that inner voice that tell you the truth. We all been there and we must not judge anothers pain,only our own~

First of all, I lovee that song!

But seriously you may just be facing some psychological issues because you saw what happened between you're mom and dad. And also if you're mom is talking **** about men 24/7 it's influencing your opinion on them. So I think you should visit a psychologist/ therapist and talk about the hate you feel towards men/ guys.

And if that doesn't work you can always just be a lesbian.

Good luck.

~<3 JJ

ok..

you obviously have a lot to say and a lot of concerns. Unfortunately, I am not by any means a psychologist or therapist (yet) but i think you need to see someone.

It's not like you're depressed or forever screwed up, but there are a lot of issues that you should verbally work out to someone who will listen.

You have lived a tough life so far and you have survived. You are obviously strong. Ask a parent or teacher, a school counselor would probably be the best idea. They will point you in a much better direction

Yes, you may need therapy, but you may also just need to age a little too.

There is a lot to not like about men (just as there is a lot to not like about women if you are are male). It is easy to let that kind of thing obscure your sexuality. "Love is the other side of hate", etc.

At your age, I don't think you need to answer for your sexuality - only for how you interact with people generally. If your hatred is getting in the way of what you want, then you probably should talk to someone about it. It's going to very difficult to separate what your mother has said about men from reality without the passage of time and perhaps therapy.

So, I'd just let another few years go by before trying to change anything.

There an awful lot of homosexual men and women out there who could not stand their own gender until they realized that they wanted to have sex with them. It seems perfectly reasonable that you might feel that way about guys too. Or completely not.

Shrug your shoulders. Get on with your life.

It seems to me that you like guys you know very well, even if they aren't particularly likeable (consider the sins of your father). As you get to know other guys well, things may change for you.

Or not.

You are NOT crazy.