The first part of my story. Honest opinions, please!?

Please be specific about WHY you like it or hate it (problems (or lack thereof) with hook, characters, dialogue, ect.)

Little bit of backstory. This is a fantasy book. It takes place first in the modern world, but the characters travel to another world, called Ture. For the full plot summary, look at my other question (maybe answer it too...) at : http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AlLJc...

With no more ado, I present my novel (or, part of it at least T_T)

CHAPTER ONE

Ai was in deep trouble. Her and her friends’ sleepover had finally woken her parents up at three in the morning. It took all of her puppy-dog-face-power to get her parents to let her friends stay over. Even when they agreed, Ai knew that she was going to hear about it in the morning.

After that, the sleepover was much subdued. That was how they heard the noise on the roof. At first, Everyone thought it was some animal, but eventually they agreed the noise sounded too heavy for some animal. Arming themselves with brooms and a Wii remote, the group of four snuck up the stairs and out the back door. What they saw nearly blew their socks off.

On Ai’s roof stood a female figure with long pigtails, outlined by the streetlights behind her. She was pacing around quickly, not losing her balance in the windy night for a second. “Still can’t find them?” A masculine voice inquired. The four below glanced to Ai’s next-door neighbor’s house. On the roof stood a tall man with floor-length hair. The pigtailed silhouette on Ai’s roof whirled. Then she snorted and shrugged. The man laughed and shrugged as well. “What more can you expect of some mutt?”

The pigtailed figure on Ai’s roof growled and leapt for the man. She crossed the fifteen feet between the two houses as easily as if it were fifteen inches. The man laughed again and disappeared into the night. Pigtails straightened up and swore loudly. One of the girls in Ai’s group, Irene, stepped backward and snapped a twig. The crack was ten times louder than it really should have been.

Pigtails whipped her head around and gracefully leapt in front of the group, landing virtually silently in front of them. “Can you see me?” She asked. The only guy in the group and Irene’s brother, Gabe, stepped forward nervously. “O-of course. Y-y-you’re right there. And... you have fangs...” He trailed off and backed away slowly. Anala, the last member of their group spoke up. “You have fangs? Are you a vampire or something?” Pigtails stared at Anala and shook her head. “Mortals are strange creatures.” She mumbled. Then she leaped backwards, landing on Ai’s roof. With no more ado, Pigtails flipped back out of sight.

“Well, that was deluded.” Gabe yawned. “Gabe...” Irene sighed. “It was, wasn’t it?” he asked. Anala shrugged and suggested they go to bed. “Yeah. Go to bed after we get threatened by some yokai” Ai mumbled, but they had nothing to do, and so half an hour later, everyone was asleep.

CHAPTER TWO

Ai was the first to wake up the next day. She hurried upstairs and brought down the doughnuts her parents bought for the group, tearing into a jelly filled one before she went two steps. When she got down, Gabe was awake as well, playing with some app on his iPod. Ai shook the doughnut box and tossed him his chocolate long john.

When everyone at last had woken up, they all joined in playing the X-box, in which Ai had no equal. Finally, Ai’s parents cottoned on to the fact that everyone had woken up and sent them to their houses. They chastised Ai for waking them up and sent her to her room. Ai managed to hide her phone in her shoe so her parents wouldn’t confiscate it, so the second she closed the door behind her and texted everyone that she would be grounded for quite a while.

She turned on her desk light and opened the new copy of manga she just got. She breathed in the smell of new paper and sighed with pleasure. After ten minutes, Ai heard a light tapping on her window. She turned and saw Anala on her roof. Ai opened the window and Anala scurried in quietly. A few hours later, Anala left, and Ai had dinner. After eating and studying, Ai went to a restless sleep.

She woke up in the middle of a nice dream to a figure creeping into her room through her window. It had long pigtails. Ai’s breath froze in her lungs as she recognized the figure from last night. The figure straightened and stared right at her.

“I know you’re awake.” Pigtails intoned. “Get up. We’re leaving.” Ai sat up and backed away. “What on the face of God’s green Earth are you talking about?!” She cried. Pigtails winced. “Not so loud. There’s no time to explain. We need to go!” Ai shook her head and refused. Pigtails slapped Ai hard on the cheek. “Look.” Pigtails bent down to Ai’s level, whispering harshly.

“The fate of my world depends on your cooperation. I don’t like it any more than you do, but you’re coming with me.”