How to know if I'm depressed?

Question

I've been thinking about it, and right now I'm starting to question whether or not I'm depressed. I've never actually felt comfortable in my own skin or confident in who I am, and lately I've been questioning almost every part of myself. For instance, I've always felt different from all of my friends; when I look at a girl, I don't really think about being with her or having sex with her, and generally I get less nervous around girls. With guys, especially attractive ones, I get really really anxious around them, and I've looked at them–for my whole life–from a more intimate standpoint, if that makes sense. Recently I've revealed that to my family and some people at my school, and everyone's been really supportive and amazing, but ever since I came out, something in me changed. I suddenly started to think, am I really gay? It's like my mind is trying to tell me that I should like girls and not guys, that it isn't natural, even though no one has told me that it isn't. I still harbor shame about it. I thought that after I came out, that that shame would go away, but it hasn't. And it's as though, now, that I'm almost numb to sexual feelings. Those sparks that I felt when I looked at a really toned, handsome guy are just being blocked by something. It's like I can feel this shield of protection guarding my vulnerabilities, and it's taken up space in my forehead and in the middle of my chest. Like, I can literally feel a knot in my chest, I have for years now, and in my forehead for at least a few months. I think that I've been so opposed to being vulnerable, at all, even with myself, that until I face it and really release a lot of the pent-up pain and frustration and isolation, that I won't be able to move forward. Is it possible that I'm actually depressed? Right now, I feel as though there isn't any hope that I'll be able to feel myself again. I feel like I'll be trapped in this mindset forever, and it's really really disheartening. I can hide this feeling when I am talking to people really easily. I've been a fake version of myself for so long, that it's just so easy to be someone I'm not. I'm almost comfortable being unauthentic. It's a safe place to be in.

drdr · Accepted Answer

Behavior comes down to habit, change your habits to change yourself. Thinking positively about one’s self and doing what needs to be done (particularly when it is hard to do) can go a long way, and thinking positive thoughts is more effective than trying to suppress negative thoughts. It has been proven that even fake laughter triggers a biochemical reaction in the brain that positively alters one’s perspective. And, meditation has been proven to reduce stress. 

Guided imagery is a common technique in improving athletic performance and in cancer treatment, among other things. It involves mentally picturing a specific image or goal and imagining oneself achieving that goal. Those with cancer are taught to imagine their bodies fighting cancer cells and athletes are taught to see themselves executing their sport with proper form. In this case, one could imagine the creation of new neural connections and weakening of old neural connections (or both). 

From what I have read, one not underestimate the effects of exercise, proper diet (minimal sugar, avoid processed and refined foods; seek out whole grains, fruits and vegetables, seeds and nuts), avoiding drugs and alcohol, and getting adequate sleep (consistent each day and preferably more than 7 hours). All of these are essential for optimal physical and mental functioning, and ADHD is also treated in this way. Also, self-absorption can be associated with some level of depression. And, meditation has been proven to reduce stress (many books are available).

Depression self-help for teens: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_teen_teenagers.htm

WebMD depression health check:
http://www.webmd.com/depression/default.htm

National Mental Health Association Hotline
800-969-NMHA (6642)

Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the nonpharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality. 
John W. Gardner

A man is but the product of his thoughts, what he thinks, he becomes. 
Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.
John Milton, Paradise Lost, Chapter 1 (1667)

If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire - then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience.
Robert Fulghum

If you compare yourself with others, 
you may become vain or bitter, 
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. 
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. … 
You are a child of the universe 
no less than the trees and the stars; 
you have a right to be here. …
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, 
it is still a beautiful world. 
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann (1872-1945), Desiderata (c. 1920s)

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How to know if I'm depressed?

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