Former mother-in-law problem?

Question

My ex-husband skipped town, and hasn't paid child support in almost two years. I haven't heard from him in about 5 months. My kids are 5 and 7. My former mother-in-law on occasion will call and want to visit with the kids. I have let her in the past. This Christmas season, my finances have been a terrible hardship, and getting the kids gifts, plus paying utilities and rent, well, the kids don't have many gifts from me. My former mother in law, who I've told my money situtation to, got the kids a lavish spread of gifts. This pisses me off. No one takes financial care of my children other than me. She has the money to get them a bunch of gifts, and look so much better than me because shes not the one paying for all their care. I am. She doesn't do anything to have her son pay any child support. I'm really upset. How wrong of me would it be to just sever ties with her? I don't think my kids can learn anything good from any of that whole side of the family anyway, other than how to shirk responsibility. I need advice!!!

Update:

My former mother in law is not wealthy by any means. She has a very tight budget, and makes a lot less money than I do.

Aeroverse · Accepted Answer

Well, if you're tight on money and she's wealthy, maybe you could move in with her?
I know it sounds bad, but she seems to enjoy your kids, and you'd have sold your old house and just pay rent for this one. Also, you'd have more time to work and raise more money because she could be a nanny to the kids while they're at home.
I know it's a big change, so you might not want to do it, but from the information you gave it sounds like the best option.

About your ex husband, there's not much you can do. You could go to court but that would take a long time to settle, and cost a lot of money.

Best of luck, though!

? · Answer

regardless of how you feel about her, this woman is the grandmother of your children. I have the same situation but my children are older now. I didn't encourage or push talks or visits from either side but I did remind them to call on birthdays etc. And yes, she put a roof over her sons head and allowed him to carry on with his affair that had been going on for three years when he travelled for work. She supported him and said nothing. Good news is I tell people that I lost 315 pounds, 70 on a peanut butter diet so my girls could have healthy food and the other 245 walked out the door to be with his wh..e. Be there for your kids, they know the difference, as you are their world. My girls grandmother would buy them 70 dollar Christmas ornaments............we don't even use them on the tree.

Al B · Answer

I think it may be that she thinks she is helping you to have a nice Christmas for the kids and even perhaps feels a little bad that her son is being the jerk in this.  I would not take it personally at all because she may feel she is helping you and does not see how this makes you feel.  If you haven't done it already, I would talk to a legal aid attorney because there may be things you can do in your case.  For example, if the child support is supposed to be paid through the court, they should be looking for him for you and if not, a legal aid attorney can file that for you so that if he is working anywhere, they can take the money from his pay check for you by garnishing his wages for what he owes.

Anonymous · Answer

First thing is first, you need to talk to her. Tell her how you feel. And since she has money maybe she just felt bad for you and the kids so she decided to buy them some gifts.

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Former mother-in-law problem?

4 Answers