Single Mums,, what would you do?

If he's not in the picture now, don't worry about it.

I have 2 kids from previous relationships. My daughter's father has never seen her because he has no interest in being a parent, so I don't force the relationship and just raised her as a single mom. My son's father is around, but not involved. He lives down the street, but only sees our little guy every few months for a couple of hours.

I got married 2 years ago to the most wonderful, caring man ever. He's a great father to both of my kids and they love him too. We're now expecting #3 in the spring.

I've never had any problems with my ex's when I got married. The first one is completely MIA so I could give a sh*t where he is or what he thinks, and my son's father didn't care anyway (but his parents sent us a wedding gift LOL)

The important thing is that the guy you marry will be a good role model for your daughter and step up to be a father to her when she needs it.

You have the right attitude. I was dumped too, a single mother by someone else's choice. Anyway, I think you should definitely go to a solicitor yourself and make this guy pay maintenance for his child. It isn't fair that you have to pay for everything. You should try to sort out some financial arrangement and then get on with your own life. It's no good thinking about what he is going to do in the future. It doesn't seem likely that he's going to be a good dad to any child, at any time. Anyway, you just think about yours and your daughter's futures. She may even want to contact him when she's older and he might have matured enough by then to agree. Good luck!

My man pays child support to his childs mother and he doesnt have a job and they would take it out even if he wasnt claiming employment. I like in SC though so maybe its different.

As for if he gets another woman pregnant...thats really not your problem! FOCUS on your child, get child support after him and if he wont get a job, get a court order to MAKE him get a job (those DO exist) If he still refuses to be apart of your childs life after you both set up child support then so be it, you know you tried!

If he doesn't care that's not your problem... It's really sad but I have been through this. I am a single mother to a 22 month son. His father is unfit, and doesn't care and has threaten my son's life and mine, as much as it really hurts that he can't be a good father, and that he doesn't care you have to let it go, forget about him and just be there for your daughter. It's a hard road but stay strong!

"Single Mums,, what would you do?"

Not humiliate myself and my child by going around calling the guy I once saw fit to ball a "w***ker," etc.

"I have told him if he REALLY wants to see her then he needs to go to a solicitor and set up contact that way"

Why? It doesn't sound like there's a reason for a solicitor other than: you pursued this guy, he wasn't interested, and you're bitter about that.

"what if he gets someone else pregnant and he is a proper dad to that child"

Some people can not make a go of it with a family at one point in their life, and get it together later on. Very unfortunate for the children from the first reproductive experience, but not exactly something to punish the children who come along later for -- which is what crapping on him if he gets it together later on would amount to.

If you and your ex did not have a solid relationship and he did not want to bring a child into the picture, a lot of this falls under "suck up and deal and make better choices in the future." The bitterness is not going to be useful to your child, and not going to be useful to you in moving forward as a happy and confident single parent.

I could care less what my "free sperm donor" does in the future. I don't want anything from him and I don't care about his life in any way.