Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.
Trending News
PLEASE ANSWER IF YOU ARE A BLACK MALE. THANK YOU?
Hiya,
okay where to start? I've been with my boyfriend for about six months and he's a lovely person, i love him very much, but he's...not what i've been brought up to expect from a man. I'm a middle class white girl and he's a mixed raced African boy.
The first time he hit me was when we were arguing over naked photo's of girls he had on his phone and messages suggesting they slept together. It was a heated argument and admittedly i did wrong, lost my temper and slapped his chest. He retaliated and slapped my face. Now bear in mind although i'm taller for a woman, 5'11, he's about 6'2 and plays American football, so he's huge. But he says his actions were reasonable and that his mother raised him never to accept being hit by anyone.
Another thing that bothers me is that sometimes when we play fight he pins me down and won't let me up, even though he can obviously tell i don't like it. It's gotten to the point where i've bitten his hands before to make him let go, but he thinks it's a game.
Even when we have sex he expresses dominance in a forceful way.
But the thing that really got me was that when we were in bed and having a playful argument, you know the ones where you argue over whether cabbage is better than lettuce, that sort of thing, i put my hand over his mouth so i could tell him why lattuce is better and he pushed my face in to the matress, wrapped his hands round my neck and told me never to do that again, which i thought was maybe a bit extreme?
Am i over reacting? Is this just a culture thing?
Thanks
xxxxxxxxxxx
48 minutes ago - 4 days left to answer.
Additional Details
Yeah i know i shouldn't have hit him, but it was his chest not his face and it wasn't hard. I'm not complaining i just never have been in a situation like this before. I've always dated gentlemen and yes my mother did teach me never to date men of color, but i love him. AND IS IT NOT JUST CUTLURAL? Can i change him?
oh i know that there are black gentlemen but my point was my mum taught me not to date non white men because she thought they were dangerous.
3 Answers
- 9 years ago
I'm not a black guy, but I've dated, and am friends with some. (I'm Asian if that matters, just thought I should let you know that it's an interracial thing for me too.)
It has nothing to do with culture. At all.
That's on him. He should not have hit you. I'm sorry, but it's only going to get worse.
There are "men of color" that are gentlemen. Don't let him be your example, please.
I just noticed it says "the first time he hit me" it does not matter who's fault it is or whatever. He should not ever hit you. He's obviously stronger than you. No matter how much you love him, or how kind he can be, he is using his strength over you to make you feel like he has more power over you than he actually does.
I can't tell you what to do, but you CANNOT change him. It is going to get worse. Please, for your sake, get out of this relationship.
- 9 years ago
What he did was very extreme. That is not a culture thing. I am white and married to a black man and he has never done that over something as stupid as me putting my hand over his mouth. When I hit(no hard) him in the chest, he did not react by slapping me in my face. You need to get out of that relationship. I know you love him, but he cannot love you too much if he puts his hands on you in a harmful way. That is not the kind of love you want or need. It starts off like that, and can get way worse. He could explode one day over something stupid and really hurt you. You do not need a man like that in your life. Again, that is not a culture thing. That is an asshole thing.
- 9 years ago
Wow, no thats not a cultural thing... I think, honestly, u should leave him. Dont tell him that your leaving, that will start an argument and its best to not start arguments with people who lose their temper like that. just get ur stuff together one day when hes not home (assuming u live together) and go. Trust me, its only going to get worse, and u dont wanna end up stuck in a relationship like that... Dont stay, and let him think that abuse is ok...
